The Longest Memory
by retrinazambrano
Summary: OQ, AU. Old friends with a past, a past which is always at the forefront of Regina's mind as she stares into the eyes of her son. Cover art by peroxidemermaid.
1. Teenage Talk

**Well, this is my first multi-chapter fic and one that's been bouncing around in my head for the last six months. I have to thank a few people for this actually ever making it here because I am nervous as hell: Lee, for being the first one to read it, Celina, for being my beta (and the copious amounts of swear words!) and Lindsay, for helping me with literally everything!  
**

 **Title is a song of the same name by Nerina Pallot, and I don't own Robin, Regina or anything Once-related, I'm sorry to say. I just like to play with them from time to time.**

 **This chapter and the next two are set several years back. T-rated for now, will go up to M in later chapters. For reference, I always imagined the bar to look a little like the one in _Miami Medical_. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The darkness was obliterated by the harsh artificial light surrounding the noisy, heaving bar. You could have sworn it was the middle of the day during that warm, sticky July. You couldn't move for student after student celebrating the end of finals and Regina and her fellow medical students were no different. She and Daniel silently blessed being equipped with elbows, clutching several drinks between them with nary a drop spilt.

"It's your round next, Swan," Regina playfully chided her blonde pal. Emma laughed, a raucous sound, like it was the funniest thing she had heard in her life. "Already affected, I see." The brunette raised an eyebrow, grinning.

Daniel handed out shots to each member of the group and cleared his throat. "To the end of five years of blood, gore and late nights… and to the next fifty of much the same. We survived!" The friends cheered themselves and downed their various poisons in unison, slamming the glasses back down onto the table.

"Isn't it something to think that we've spent the best part of the last five years together..?" Robin's clear English accent rang out amongst the rabble. "I mean, we've laughed, cried, drunk, thrown up together…"

"But we haven't slept together!" Emma roared, bent double in fits of laughter. She was practically on the floor, half held up by August's arm hooked under hers. Robin glanced briefly at Regina, whose eyes met his and held for a beat. They grinned at one another, knowingly, interrupted by Daniel.

"No you don't, Robin! Leave that English sentimentality at the door!" Daniel thrust his next shot into the air and downed it with just as much valour.

Robin rolled his eyes and smiled, picking up his next shot and turning to Regina, passing her another. "Well, Miss Mills, hasn't it been fun?"

She nodded coyly, pushing the stray strands of her long, dark hair away from her face. "Indeed it has, Mr Locksley." She smiled warmly. "I can imagine you will be the finest cardio surgeon this fair country has ever seen. You know your way around a heart or two."

Robin grinned and put his arm around her. "And you will be one hell of a paediatrician." They turned to face each other. "You know, Regina, there's…"

"And to everyone else!" She needed to breathe and the best way to garner control of the situation was to address everyone. "To us!" Again, the group simultaneously relieved their glasses of their liquor.

"Let this night last forever!" Emma had her arms in the air, waving them in time to some sort of silent beat in her head. They knew what that meant. "On to Wonderland!"

Wonderland was the number one student dive bar-club amalgamation in the area and as generally downmarket as it was considered, the cheap drinks and skull pounding music was a guilty pleasure for the group (except Emma, who proudly declared she felt no guilt about her pleasure).

Regina stood up from her stool and pulled down the navy dress which had bunched up around her upper thighs and slammed her hands onto the table with a devilish look upon her face, thanks to the alcohol and heat now coursing round her body. "Let's do it."

* * *

"Thank you August!" Emma yelled over the barely discernible melody blaring from the speakers. August had got the group in quickly, thanks to his connections and they were now approaching the throng of pissed students on the dance floor. Emma insisted August and Regina come dance with her, leaving Daniel and Robin to get the next round, courtesy of Emma's credit card.

The guys leaned against the bar as they awaited their orders. "Robin, can I ask you something?" Daniel's eyes met his.

"Yes, of course."

The look on Daniel's face gave it away. This was going to be one of those conversations about…

"Regina." The pair glanced at the beautiful young woman dancing alongside Emma, her hips swaying in time to the music, her hair tossed over her shoulder, her smile luminous even from a distance.

"I thought we'd talked about this." Robin sighed. He wasn't willing to jeopardise her friendship for something that could fizzle out with the summer. The lead up to finals had been a month of high tensions for all, some exam-based, but for Robin and Regina, it was more intimate than that. Not that they'd ever done anything about it, except briefly considering the possibility together the night before the last exam. They'd spoke openly about why it wouldn't be a good idea, before agreeing to remain friends. He glanced up and Regina's eyes met his again. She smiled at him and carried on having a good time.

"Okay, okay." Daniel placed the drinks into Robin's grasp. "I promise I'll take care of her." Daniel and Regina had been given their first placement in the same area and had already made plans to live together. Robin's posting was halfway across the country, as was Emma's and August had been placed locally. The distance was one of the many reasons they decided not to try. Robin suspected it might be the biggest reason of them all. That, and putting their friendship on the line.

"I know you will."

They nodded towards one another, a silent 'shall we?' and headed towards an empty table near their friends. Daniel joined the group, eager to enjoy the buzz of the liquor, whilst Robin sat at the table, picking up his pint and staring into it, feeling startlingly sober. It wasn't a feeling he welcomed, so he placed it down and picked up one of the many sour shots he and Daniel had purchased, knocking it back with speed, willing himself to not focus on the woman currently with her back to him. He could hear her laughter pealing through the white noise. He could always identify her voice. At that point, his next shot was in his hand, gone, and the next was lined up and ready to go.

"Whoa, easy Robin, save some for the rest of us!" Regina grabbed the shot from his hand and knocked it back just as quickly as he had just done, shuffling close to him. She picked up the next two mini glasses and passed one to him. "To us, Mr Locksley. We made it."

Robin's gaze held hers as their heads tilted back in time, both dizzy from the sudden movement. "Hey, you okay there?" Robin reached out and placed his hand on Regina's arm.

"I'm good. I feel like I'm on that wonderful cusp between tipsy and drunk, you know?" That perfect line. She beamed at him, taking his hand in hers. "You have been the most wonderful friend to me, Robin." She giggled gently, "You were the one who bought me soup when I was dying with fever. Remember that?"

Robin was also walking that tightrope between merry and pissed, but of course he remembered. "Third year. You got through your entire placement without so much as a sniffle, but misplaced belief in the weather that time of year rendered you bedridden for, what was it, three days? Drama queen." He gave her a little nudge and she giggled again.

"Then we watched several seasons of one of those Top Model shows which, despite your protests, you know you enjoyed," Regina added, teasing.

Robin's eyes narrowed to slits at the reminder. "I did not say…"

"You said that model was FIERCE! Robin Locksley, saying the phrase 'FIERCE'!?" She yelled that last word, entwined with a laugh, one that Robin couldn't help but join in with.

"Yes, okay, I did say that… and you haven't let me live it down!" and before long, the two of them were holding on to each other for support, their ribs and jaws sore from the hilarity.

"Oh Robin, I am going to miss you so much." Her face fell almost instantly. "I'm serious here. I don't know what I'm gonna do!"

"You have Dani…"

She cut him off, dark boring into ice blue. "I know. I know, I know, I know. I am very grateful!" She wanted to say something else, but stopped herself in time.

Robin also sensed there was something unsaid, but decided not to push it. "Will you all come visit?"

"Of course!" Her smile returned, her face instantly brightened. "Whenever we can!" With that, she flung her arms around him, pressing her torso to his.

She turned her head to his ear, her lips gently grazing the lobe. He heard her take a deep breath. "I love you Robin. Thank you."

The sensation, the action, the words –they were all too much for him, physically and emotionally. He knew she meant well, that she was talking platonically, but he couldn't hear this right now. He tensed, which only served for her to squeeze him tighter. He stayed in her embrace, unwilling to break this closeness but at the same time unable to handle it. When she pulled back, their gazes held. If neither of them moved soon, they would be acting upon something they promised they wouldn't.

Regina's gaze was penetrating, unrelenting. When Robin felt himself glancing that minute a fraction lower to her gently parted red, red lips, he knew he had to get out of there. Wordlessly, he picked himself up, swaying slightly, letting go of her hand, and left their booth, out of sight in a blink.

She was utterly dazed. Not from any of the copious amounts of alcohol they'd both consumed, but by what had just happened. There was heat in the air and creeping around her body, from her face, to her breasts, lower. She took one hell of a deep breath before standing up.

"What the..?" Emma didn't even get to finish her sentence before Regina put her hand up to stop her.

"I have to fix this." She pulled Emma into the quickest of hugs before flitting to the exit, the blonde none the wiser to what had just occurred between her two friends.

* * *

Regina cursed her bloody heels for hindering her current mission. The straps were digging in painfully to her ankles and she was one agonising step away from ripping them off, when she saw him. Robin was pacing slightly just across the road from the club, his brows knitted, deep in thought. Swearing quietly, she removed her shoes and ran across the street barefooted, heels in grasp. By the time she reached him, under the palest of light of a flickering streetlamp, she could only whisper his name.

Robin heard the faintest gasp of his name and he turned to face the very woman he needed distance from, and she was closing that distance rapidly. He opened his mouth in preparation to apologise but she was too quick. Her body collided with his, angled to pin him to the wall, sheltered from the light, but he could see the desire sparkling in her eyes. His open mouth met her open mouth in a rough kiss, one hand snaking around his neck to grasp his hair to bring him closer, her other hand, having dropped her heels onto the pavement, bunched his shirt between her fingers.

Too shocked to respond for the first moment, Robin quickly caught up, his hands settling first on her hips before sliding their way back to her rear, settling there to pull her flush against him. They stood devouring one another in the darkness of the empty street for what felt like the briefest of moments before Robin spun them round, pressing Regina into the wall. Her breathy moan was all the encouragement he needed, slipping his palm upwards, past her hips, laying upon the underside of her fabric-clad breast.

He took the chance to break away from their heated kiss to appreciate her, all swollen lips and trembling limbs. "Regina…" he gasped her name in reverence, sliding his hand upwards to cradle her cheek. Her tongue snaked out to wet her lips, assuming he was going to kiss her again. For a moment, he considered it, but that would be unfair on the both of them. "We can't. We shouldn't."

Regina's breaths were coming fast now, barely able to speak for her heaving lungs. "Wh-what?" she managed eventually as she felt his hands drop from her, but she kept a hold of him. "We can." She emphasised the 'we' so heavily that he explained, in a very strained voice, that 'he' couldn't. The hurt on her face was clear as day as he felt her embrace loosen.

"I'm sorry, I…"

She lifted her eyes to his, her lips pressed together in a thin line. "Don't. I'm not sorry." She adjusted her skin-tight dress, pulling it down again. "Goodbye, Robin." With that, she left him, walking away slowly enough to give him the chance to call her back, but he never did. He watched her walk, making sure she was safe with Emma before turning away.

"Goodbye, Regina."


	2. Daniel

**Here is chapter 2! It's taken me ages to finish, what with Once and Robin's demise making it a little tougher... *sigh* the majority of this has actually been written for near on a year, but when you're pretty much a perfectionist...**

 **Thanks to Lindsay and Lee for reading the majority of this, and Celina for being my awesome amazing beta! If you've not read her stuff,** ** _do it_** **. She's moonlessmondays :)**

 **I don't own Robin, Regina etc., still, but remember, the fans did create Outlaw Queen ;)**

 **Scroll to the end for possible trigger warnings.**

xxx

 **5 years later**

Pathetic fallacy was in full swing on that cold November morning. It was raining, sure, but that wasn't the thing that concerned Regina the most. No, it was that chill that ran deep through her bones, not at all related to the weather.

It was the day of Daniel's funeral.

She'd only seen him briefly the morning he died, having stumbled in following her last night shift for the month. He'd placed a quick kiss on her forehead as they passed one another, Daniel placing his hand on hers briefly. She'd wished him a good day, told him that she would have something for him for dinner when he got back and he'd smiled, kissing her knuckles as a thank you.

She'd been asleep come the afternoon, having prepared their dinner just before. She was in a content, dreamless slumber, until she was roused by an insistent knocking at their apartment door. Having wrapped herself up in a heavy bathrobe, she answered the door to two solemn looking cops.

Daniel had been trying to insert an IV line into a patient. It had been a trigger, apparently, as the patient had pushed Daniel back and ran off. Daniel, being Daniel, had run after his patient, despite the protests from his colleagues, following him down the stairwell towards the back of the ward. Thrown down the stairs, the cops explained, breaking his neck and sustaining several head injuries. They'd tried to resuscitate him but it had been in vain - he had died almost instantly from the repeated impacts.

Regina wasn't sure when she stopped listening to the officers, but she felt her blood run cold, frozen to her fingertips, the chill reverberating up and down her spine. They were several weeks off their third year anniversary. Regina focused on the arrangement of blood-red roses that had been delivered that very morning. Regina stood, stupor intact and walked over to the bouquet, picking out the small white card inscribed with Daniel's almost unintelligible handwriting.

 _An early anniversary present for you, my dear. I love you._

She remembers the day he died with startling clarity, but the subsequent weeks she had only the vaguest recollection. She had cried a lot, reminding her of just how acute her pain was, but when she wasn't, she was pretty much on autopilot. The funeral had come around so quickly. Those roses had perished, but she had no intention of throwing them out, keeping the card he sent with her at all times. With Daniel's parents long gone, no siblings and no family she knew of, it was left to Regina to get everything in place, knowing that he wouldn't want a lavish affair. Emma had flown in the moment she heard about Daniel's death, August had arrived a few days ago.

She hadn't, however, heard from Robin. She had sent a letter to his last known address, knowing his phones had been disconnected some time ago. They had spoken once or twice since they had finished school but nothing meaningful, those chats having whittled down to the occasional birthday and Christmas card over time, but she hadn't heard from him for the last few years. She held no hope of him being in attendance.

"Hey, Regina," Emma put her arm around her shoulders. Regina couldn't even remember making it into the kitchen. She turned and rested her head against Emma's shoulder, blinking rapidly, tears stinging her eyes. "Why don't you let me deal with this," Emma indicated with a hand towards the mess on the counter, "whilst you get ready? Hmm?"

Regina nodded, making her way back upstairs. She had been sleeping in the spare room, not able to stay in the same bed she and Daniel shared. She'd tried to stay in that room, just once since his death, and the pain had been so consuming she had to get out of there, panic attack in tow. She'd slept in the hallway that night.

xxx

When the time had come to leave, Regina had never been so grateful for Emma and August than at that moment. Just as she crossed the threshold of her home, she had crumbled, clutching on to August's arm, her legs refusing to move another inch. She collapsed against the wall, her head in her hands, her tears coming now, coming and coming. Emma took her hands and held them, making Regina look at her.

"He died trying to help someone! And for what? This? He deserved none of it. None at all!" Her voice was raised, almost hysterical.

"I know, Regina, I know. I can't believe it either," Emma was close to tears herself but spoke evenly, "but you need to live. Daniel always said that, remember? When I was close to cancelling my sabbatical, he told me I needed to live, that I needed to go and see the world. So I did."

"But he doesn't get to live, Emma! We were meant to grow old together, we were meant to have a fa- fam…" She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"So that is precisely why," Emma started, squeezing Regina's hands between hers, "precisely why you need to carry on. He'd want you to be there today. The woman he loved, leading the celebration of his life. You knew him better than anyone."

Regina nodded, knowing Emma was right, that Daniel deserved the best she could muster. It would be difficult, but she wasn't alone in this. "I'm so fucking angry." The blonde nodded. "He couldn't even be bothered to come!" Emma's eyebrow raised and she glanced to August. "Robin. He and Daniel were so, so close. Daniel kept trying to contact him but we got nothing. Now Daniel's gone and Robin can't even be fucking be here."

Emma recoiled at her language for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "It's not on you, Regina. We tried to get in touch with him, it's up to him to be here. I think it speaks volumes about him, rather than you, Daniel or any of us."

Regina made eye contact with her then, exhaling, then rising from her slumped position, her face hard. Without saying another word, she left the house. No more needed to be said about Robin. He was dead to her.

xxx

The eulogy was difficult for her to deliver. She held back the overwhelming urge to scream out whilst sharing her fondest memories of her beloved, trying to steady her ever-wavering voice. She couldn't face glancing at the small crowd gathered beneath her, focusing instead on the words on the page laid out on the pulpit. When it came to talking about how she and Daniel had become a couple, she paused. It was all too raw, too real. Her breath hitched, she couldn't catch herself. She pulled the small card from the bouquet from her pocket and stared at it. I love you. She could do this, do it justice and give it all the love she had.

xxx

The rain had abated by the time the congregation moved outside. Regina carried the urn with Daniel's ashes close to her chest. Daniel grew up in this area, knew it back-to-front, and Regina knew early on that his favourite place to be was in the fields by the stables, not far from the church. He had taken her there, talked about how he worked with the horses as a teenager, just as she had. She showed him a picture of her beloved Rocinante, he talked of how he had missed the open air whilst at medical school but had not regretted moving to the city, for that was how he met her. The look shared between them gave way to the realisation that they had unknowingly gone on a date with one another.

It was the only place she considered worthy enough to scatter his ashes.

They walked down the short stone path leading to the stables, silence reigning supreme. Regina stopped for a moment, taking in the atmosphere. The rain had stopped but the gloomy sky threatened another outpour and Regina allowed a small smile in spite of herself. She felt exactly the same.

"Over there." She pointed towards a cluster of trees. "There." That's where she would scatter his ashes. She and Daniel had sat under those trees many times.

Regina took her place at the front of the pack, shaky breaths and hands. She trembled as she opened the urn and let her free hand fall to her side.

"I love you so much Daniel, I always will." She swallowed a sob. "We all love you. We will miss you so, so much. I hope you find peace where you are. I will never forget you. We will never forget you. Goodbye, my love."

She felt a hand slip into hers. For a moment, she thought it was Emma, but the rough skin was a giveaway. She stopped breathing as she glanced up.

His blue eyes were unmistakable. Her mouth dropped open, a light exhale leaving her body. She mouthed his name, in shock.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, which bought her back to the present. She took a step away from the crowd, letting go of his hand and with one swift movement, allowed Daniel's ashes to be whisked into the air. She stood for what seemed like an eternity, watching the last of her beloved disappear into the ether. She turned, her gaze fixed on the ground. The rest of the crowd had retreated to give her some time alone, except one hooded figure.

When had it started to rain?

The figure took a hesitant step towards her. They stared one another down, willing the other to speak first. The silence was deafening, almost maddening.

Regina couldn't take it anymore. "You came." She had intended her voice to come out confidently, but instead it was a high-octave murmur. She made her move then, reaching him and hitting his chest weakly. "I needed you, Robin! I have needed you so much... where the fuck have you been? He's gone!"

"I know." His voice was barely audible against the rising winds. "I know, Regina, and I…"

Regina puts her hands up as he starts to protest and shakes her head. "No, Robin, I don't want to. Not today. Please. I just want to get back and deal with… this."

She turns and starts the short walk back up to the church, joining the other members of the party, leaving Robin to expel a breath. All he could do was follow.

xxx

Condolences were handed to Regina like business cards during the wake, from people she considered close friends, to people she didn't know quite so well, right through to people she didn't know at all but had invited as they had been in Daniel's address book and she hadn't wanted to miss anyone.

It was tough enough keeping herself together. This was the second big loss of her life and, whereas she knew it was coming for her Papa, this was so out of the blue that it still frightens her to think of how fickle and delicate life really is. She knew that, of course, but now this had happened, it made it all the more real and her thoughts were so loud in her head that Regina was relieved once the wake was done and the majority of people had left her apartment.

From what she could see, only Emma and Robin were still around, August having had to take an early flight back. The blonde was tidying up the kitchen, telling Regina to just take it easy, but Robin was sitting opposite her, willing her to speak.

Eventually, she gives in with a: "I need help emptying out my bedroom."

Before they could reply, they could both hear her footsteps upstairs. Emma turned to Robin, having said barely two words to him up until this moment. "How are you?"

Robin let out a breath. He was fully expecting some sort of reprimand from the ballsy blonde, but she must have decided that now was not the time or the place. "I am..." He searched for the right word. He was not okay - how could he be, following the death of his university friend?

He had been on a break at his current workplace, his post forwarded elsewhere, the news in Emma's telltale handwriting reaching him almost too late. Robin had felt his skin crawl, searching for a number to contact either Emma or Regina, but there was nothing. The funeral was in two days and with no time to book a flight, he drove - and fast - arriving in time to see Regina, Emma and the others in the fields.

Robin explained what had happened, Emma's face giving nothing away. "I am sorry. I came straight here."

"Where have you been? Both Regina and Daniel have missed you. As have I, as has August. You just dropped off the face of the planet."

Robin was in no mood to explain to Emma what exactly was holding him back, what it was that only had him coming back when a tragedy struck and from the way Emma was talking, Regina hadn't told her what had happened that last night they were together. "Things just came up." It wasn't a lie.

Emma went to open her mouth, but was interrupted by Regina's booming voice, questioning the whereabouts of their presence. They both joined her on the landing.

"After you." Regina pointed to the door, wanting either of them to walk in first, still too spooked to do it herself.

After a moment's hesitation, Emma took the lead and entered the room. A light film of dust had covered many of the surfaces, the bed unmade from where Regina had ran out several weeks before. Robin reached for the light switch, flicking it and bathing the room in light.

"Okay," Emma started softly. "Where would you like us to start?"

Regina took a deep breath. "Emma, do the wardrobes. Robin and I can deal with the dressers."

The tasks delegated, they each began rooting through the couple's belongings. Emma placed Daniel's suits on the bed as Robin and Regina took a set of drawers each. Every so often one of them would find a reminder of Daniel, laughed and enjoyed his memory before the realisation that he was gone would dawn on them yet again and cause another uncomfortable silence.

Emma reached into a coat pocket and closed her hand around a small angular object. She stole a glance at Robin and Regina, who were immersed in sifting through a paper portfolio. Turning back to the wardrobe, she pulled the box out. She had an idea what this was going to be and stopped for a moment before opening it. Inside lay a stunning gold diamond and ruby engagement ring with a small note tucked inside. Emma slid the box into her pocket and laid the coat onto the bed. Lost in thought, she hadn't heard Robin and Regina speaking to her.

"Emma!" She jumped and turned to the two of them. Regina was holding up a photo album, Robin pointing at a photo of the group of them. "Oh wow, the first photo we took as a group." She stepped over and took the photo album from Regina's grasp. Her eyes raked over their fresh young faces and the caption. Then, it read, leading to the photo below. Now. The very last photo of the group, taken on that very last night they spent together.

It was now or never. Emma reached into her pocket and pulled out the box. "I found this in a coat pocket, Regina."

Regina took the box, a sense of dread creeping over her yet again. She felt Robin's hand on the small of her back, offering wordless support. Her throat grew dry, her fingers shook. If this is what she thought it was... "This is... Isn't it?"

Emma nodded solemnly. "There's a note."

The brunette bit her trembling lip, tears threatening to pour. She moved herself from the pair and stepped over to the window, looking out, needing a moment before opening the box. The ring was indeed as beautiful as she remembered, having pointed it out to Daniel on a shopping trip not so long ago. Not a hint to her boyfriend, just a throwaway remark.

"He never got to ask me."

Robin and Emma had gathered as much, making no move to join her, understanding she needed the space. Regina ran her fingers over the gems and onto the small slip of paper. She pulled it from its resting place, setting the box on the windowsill, pulling it open..

 _Dear Regina, happy anniversary. I was never good at voicing these things. Will you marry me?_

So simple. Loving Daniel was simple. Life was complicated but his feelings never were. A sob caught in her throat as she gripped the windowsill for balance, the slip drifting to the ground. Robin and Emma moved then, Robin stabling her small figure, Emma picking up the dropped slip and placing it alongside the box.

"I would have said yes." Regina whispered. Emma nodded, placing her hand on her friend's arm. The rest of the tidy up could wait until the following day. "Would you both please stay?"

"We wouldn't do anything else." Robin replied.

"Of course Regina. Why don't we all sit downstairs? I'll make us all coffees." Emma rubbed the brunette's arm gently. Regina agreed and they moved themselves to the lounge.

xxx

Several hours later, following multiple hot beverages - and somewhat harder substances - the mood was more relaxed. So relaxed that Emma had all but passed out on the sofa. Robin and Regina, although suitably hazy, were still relatively alert, standing opposite each other with the kitchen counter between them.

"What am I going to do?" She asked Robin. "He was my..." She couldn't finish her sentence without tears threatening, and several betrayed her as she blinked. Robin wiped them away with his thumb, silently waiting for her to continue. "I think of the last time I saw him every day. How I had just come in from a night shift, we didn't have time to greet each other properly, nothing other than a few words. We didn't have time then... We thought we had all the time in the world. Do you know the last thing Daniel said to me?" Robin shook his head. "I'll survive today with the thought of coming home to you. That's what he said." She laughed bitterly.

 _And he didn't_ , she thought, but the words refused to form in her mouth, her mind dismissing it almost immediately.

Robin listened quietly, not wanting to interject the brunette's current stream of consciousness. He blanched at Daniel's final words to his love and Regina noticed, yet didn't say anything. It was the irony more than anything. The unfair irony. "What happens now?"

"Well, the patient that pushed Daniel down the stairs died in surgery. He can't even be brought to justice. Fate is playing some cruel jokes at the moment." She gritted her teeth and willed herself not to scream, cry or both.

Robin nodded, careful of his friend's fragile state, not wanting to say anything to upset her further. Eventually he settled on something more hopeful. "What are you going to do now?"

Regina grimaced briefly before answering. "I've handed in my resignation. I can't carry on working there. I'm almost at the end of the lease on this place so I'm packing up and moving elsewhere. Where? I don't know. I'm going to stay with Emma for a little while to get myself sorted and then find a new location far, far away from here." She shrugged at the end of her sentence. "I'm free, but I don't want to be. Not even sure if I know how to be." The realisation sends her gaze to the heavens, willing no tears to fall.

"That's brave." He said simply. He couldn't say much more.

She returns her gaze to his figure, noticing how he is looking down at the marble counter. "Thank you for staying, Robin. I have missed you. I am still so angry with you for being away for so long but... You're here now. Emma said you drove here as soon as you found out." Regina said, as she mindlessly smoothed out invisible creases in her black dress.

"I needed to be here. Believe me. I owe a lot to Daniel." Their gazes met then. "He kept his promise to me. "

It was Regina's turn to look puzzled. "Promise? What promise?"

So Daniel hadn't mentioned their chat on that final night. He took a deep breath. "He promised he'd look after you."

Regina stared at him for a moment before slowly nodding. "That was always you, Locks. Looking out for me, even when MIA." She smiled then, just a very faint ghost of a sad smile, but a smile all the same.

"I have missed you a great deal, Regina." He shrugged then, slightly, not out of disrespect but out of not knowing what to say. That wasn't like him at all, but this was a situation he had never thought he'd find himself in.

"And I you, Robin." With that, they stepped round into an embrace which, although neither had acknowledged they'd needed, they'd definitely, definitely needed.

They retired to the sofa together, neither letting a word pass between them for a good long while before Regina took a deep breath, glancing over at Emma's sleeping form before starting to speak.

"It wasn't always easy, Daniel and I," she started. "I mean I love - loved - love? - him very much, but..." Okay, this was a lot more painful than she cared to admit but now Daniel was gone, she didn't have anyone to talk to about it. It may have been well over a year before but she thought about it every single day.

"I had a miscarriage," she told him. "I was two months gone, and we were both looking forward to it, you know? So we did it in a different order, and I have this career, but... But I couldn't believe this little surprise." She paused for a much needed breath. "After the baby died, i didn't know what to do with myself. I started working all the time I could to numb the pain, occupy myself and I just... I just neglected him, Robin. I knew Daniel was hurting just as much but I couldn't talk about it. I tried to ignore it and we'd have these arguments and..." She paused to gather herself and scrunched her fingers into the hem of her dress. "We went to therapy. If we didn't, we were going to destroy one another with blame and silence. It helped, you know?" She smiled a little. "We were back on track. Then this happens. Fate is cruel."

Robin nodded. He couldn't change it, as much as he wanted to, couldn't bring his friend back and couldn't stop Regina's pain. He knew - and she knew too - that grieving takes time, but if only there was a way to make it more immediate.

"He was such a good person. Perfect marriage material." Regina indicated to the small box sitting on the counter before haphazardly wiping her eyes, smudging her mascara across her face, taking a glance at Emma's snoring form. "She's out for the count." Just looking at her made her yawn.

"Why don't you head up to bed?" Robin suggests.

"I sleep on the couch most nights." She shrugged. "I'm just going to have a shower." With that, she's up, gone and back in her pajamas in almost no time at all, joining Robin back on the couch, lying back.

"That didn't take you long," he remarked, taking in her fresh face and clean scent.

"No, I don't like being upstairs by myself," she responded, unwilling to talk about it further. "So where have you been, Robin? All this time."

"I moved back to England for a little while to spend time with my Dad whilst he was sick. He pulled through, thank God, and I came back a year later. I lost touch with most people I'd gone to university with; you, Daniel, Emma and August included. All I know is that it was just as well the post was still being forwarded, or I wouldn't have had a clue."

They fell silent, but after a few moments, Regina shuffled closer and rested her head against Robin's bicep. It's comforting and friendly move without crossing a line or being too intimate. Robin froze then relaxed at the unexpected motion and opened his mouth to speak, but he realised her breathing was even, her weight against him. She's fast asleep. Too right too, he thought. She's had a truly exhausting day.

xxx

Robin left the following morning, after breakfast, with the strangest suspicion he'd be leaving a little bit of himself behind when he hugged Regina, then Emma, goodbye. He wished them well and left his phone number with Regina, just in case she ever happened to be visiting his city. She nodded, admitting to herself that that will be unlikely but it's a nice gesture all the same, and it would be great to stay in touch. Words unspoken never pass between the two and as she watched him drive into the distance, she wondered whether she'd ever call him, what with the far too painful memories of Daniel, his death, the proposal that was never to be, that kiss on results night. It's not as if she reciprocated the move, he had no means of contacting her, so it's all down to her.

It's a decision she'd make later, for there were bigger plans. She needed to leave, to spread her wings. Needs a fresh start.

xxx

 _ **TW: miscarriage, character death**_


	3. Spark

**Here's chapter 3, just in time for Outlaw Queen day! Our ship may not have got the love from the writers they deserved, but it certainly lives on in the fandom!**

 **This chapter is dedicated to the OQ fandom and specifically to Lindsay for reading through this multiple times. Thank you, as always, to Celina, my beta.**

 **I still don't own these two... sadly. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **3 years later**

Regina hadn't been back to Misthaven since Daniel's death. It wasn't even because of the haunting memories, for she had found some sort of peace with that, she just wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to face that her life as she knew it was turned upside down inside that very town. In more ways than one.

But here she was, five years later, to celebrate the wedding of two of her ex-colleagues. She paid the cab driver and stepped out at the very same church she said goodbye to her beloved, smoothing down her plum-coloured maxi, slipping the pleats back into place. Regina took a deep breath and, instead of heading into the venue straightaway, made her way to the weeping willow where she scattered Daniel's ashes.

She carefully manoeuvred herself down the pebbled pathway to where it faded into the grass and stands for a moment, closing her eyes, breathing in the fresh country air, something she'd missed from all her time in the city. Despite never wanting to come here and relive the whole ordeal again, Regina found that she was comforted by familiarity, the option to focus upon happier memories, rather than pushing them to the back of her mind in fear that they would overwhelm her. She smiled, opening her eyes again and slowly breathing out.

She silently congratulated herself on making it this far.

Regina stood, stoic, until she shivered and remembered what it was she came here to do; celebrate the wedding of Mary Margaret Blanchard and David Nolan. Mary Margaret had been a fellow pediatric doctor on a rotation (which became permanent after that year), working alongside her, having graduated several years after Regina; David a midwife, and she had watched the love blossom between the two, she and Daniel even having coerced the two of them into a blind date (oh, how they had congratulated themselves on that one - they were such a great partnership - and the thought caused Regina's heart to seize a little) and now, they were to be wed. Regina kept in touch with the couple after she left, and they visited her in Maine often, where she'd settled and spoke to Mary Margaret regularly. The couple had been her crutch, even with the distance between them, following Daniel's death and she owed them so, so much.

Mary Margaret had asked Regina to be a bridesmaid at her wedding and, originally, she had declined, saying that she was incredibly touched, but she couldn't face being back in Misthaven. Mary Margaret had compromised with her, however - she and her other bridesmaids would do the typical wedding preparations in person, involving her over e-mails and phonecalls, and Regina joined them for Mary Margaret's out-of-town bachelorette party - all Mary Margaret asked was that she be at the wedding. That was the sort of person she was; caring, hopeful, always aware of others' feelings and situations. Regina said she wouldn't miss it for the world.

So she headed back to the church, entering under its imposing archway, navigating the back rooms until she found Mary Margaret and the wedding party, breathing out a soft _sorry I'm late_. Regina was instantly engulfed by feminine arms and warm skin, delighted voices and the face of one of her closest friends, clearly ecstatic to see her.

"Regina," Mary Margaret breathed, burying her face into her neck, "It's so good to see you in person!" She pulled back to take in the dress and she gasped. "You look even more beautiful than your photo."

She'd sent Mary Margaret a low-light picture of her in the dress, with the glare of a mirror obscuring a great deal of the details, but it was the best she could do. Mary Margaret had assured Regina it was absolutely fine, she was just so happy it fit.

Regina also raked her gaze over her friend, bathed in ivory lace and subtle sparkle, right to the ground and through the train of her gown. She truly did look breathtaking, her alabaster skin smooth against the material of the dress, green eyes sparkling with anticipation, black pixie-cut the perfect contrast to the entire ensemble - no wonder she'd earned the nickname Snow White. David was one lucky man. Regina could feel tears prick at her eyes at the sight of her and she told herself that it was _all_ about the fact she looked so beautiful, _not_ that she could have had this with Daniel. Mary Margaret snapped her out of her thoughts by thrusting a bouquet of pink-white roses into her hand.

"For you." Mary Margaret grinned and puts her arm around her shoulders. "I know it's tough for you, being here, but Regina, thank you. Really. _Thank you_."

The brunette shook her head and gave her a closed-lipped smile. "I went down to the field where we released Daniel's ashes before I came here and… I don't know what it is," she explained, "but I felt at peace. Like I was meant to come home today."

Mary Margaret hugged her friend again, squeezing her gently before whispering: "I'm still so sorry David and I couldn't be at the funeral." Regina had understood; the pair had been on a six-week cruise and coming home was near on impossible. She'd forgiven them, didn't even see anything to have to forgive, but they both very occasionally apologised again. Regina told her there's nothing to forgive, again, and squeezed her right back.

A glance at the clock told the group that it's time to send Mary Margaret Blanchard off to become Mary Margaret Nolan. They proceeded to join the congregation amassing in the nave, following the bride down the aisle.

It's a beautiful ceremony, with personalised vows so typical of the two of them ( _I promise to make you tacos in the middle of the night, should you ask, and all you have to do is ask_ ) and, when the marriage was sealed with a kiss, Regina's sure no-one cheers quite as loudly as she did. That voice that said _it could have been you_ was all but silent as she threw confetti over the couple, posing for professional photos and heading with the other bridesmaids to the reception.

* * *

Regina walked into the reception gazebo and marvelled at the gold and white colour scheme adorning each surface. She was sat at the head table alongside the bridal party, the groomsmen and the best man - who made a beeline for her the moment he saw her.

"Regina Mills. What a sight you are, love," he drawled in his endearing Irish accent, kissing her hand.

"Killian Jones. Long time no see." They'd met a couple of times before, the first time they'd clashed terribly and Regina swore she'd never step foot inside the same state as him again, let alone the same room. The second time, however, coaxed by both Mary Margaret and Daniel's pleas, he'd apologised for his arrogant behaviour and promised to try harder. Turns out they had a lot in common; both liked the villains in tales, enjoyed dark humour. Daniel once told Regina he was ever so slightly jealous of her rapport with the man but she quashed his fears with a simple peck on the lips, saying that Killian was far, far too much for her and she just was not interested. And besides, he was far too interested in Emma Swan, having met the slender blonde at a dinner party Regina and Daniel had thrown. As far as she knew though, Emma had rejected every single last one of his advances towards her.

Killian told Regina how sorry he was for her loss and it occurred to her she hadn't seen the man in years. She nodded, thanking him for his sympathy and willed him to say no more about it. And he didn't, for David approached him and tried his utmost to ensure his speech wasn't both too racy or embarrassing but Killian said he'd just have to wait and see.

The speech, in fact, walked that fine line between risqué and tasteless, causing good-natured groans from David and other groomsmen, gasps from Mary Margaret and applause from the crowd. The man certainly had a charm about him. The other speeches were just as entertaining, including a sweet one from Mary Margaret's father about how his lovely daughter had grown to be a fine woman, one her mother would be proud of (Regina still dislikes Leopold - he'd made a clumsy pass at her during a Christmas party despite knowing full well she was in a committed relationship and she swore never to mention it ever again, and grateful, he leaves her alone).

Regina acquainted or reacquainted herself with everyone after dinner, after the cake had been cut, realising it's actually so nice to be somewhere she feels she belongs. She'd had a tumultuous life at times, right from her mother's controlling hand from childhood to her papa's passing, Daniel's death, the loss of Robin, and…

 _Robin_. She sighs inwardly. She had never called him, never visited Sherwood, never made any attempts to do anything to contact him. Daniel's death had shaken her, right to her very core, and he was too much of a painful reminder at that point. She said to herself that she'd try in a couple of months, except months became years and suddenly, it seemed pretty pointless to try, especially as the memories would just come rushing back. Still, he'd been there when it mattered most, even though he was absent before that. She harboured no ill will towards him and she desperately hoped the same. Sometimes, however, in solitary hours, her mind would creep to him. What was he doing? Was he married? Kids? Did he think of her in his quiet moments? All unanswered, and just as well.

The first dance was announced, causing Regina to shake away her thoughts of her ex-friend and join the group to watch the happy couple sway and slide in time with the soft music. They did look genuinely happy and Regina couldn't be more pleased, so grateful that, although Robin was just a mere pawn in her past, she had so many beautiful bright things and people in her future.

The thought of her future was one thing that's keeping her going. She's getting on with her life, or trying at least. Three years and she still couldn't find it in herself to date anyone, to even go on a date, just to test the waters. There had been flirtations and whatnot, but no relationship and certainly no sex. It's been over three years since the last time and oddly enough, she didn't miss it all that much. Her own hand seemed to be enough, sometimes, for the physical side. The mental side, the intimacy, just the feel of another person - that she missed. The feel of someone's arms wrapped around her, whether it be post-coitus, in greeting or simply falling asleep together… That's what she craved. Closeness. Companionship.

Maybe she should get a dog.

The celebrations started with the DJ introducing all manner of typical cheesy tunes and, despite Mary Margaret's pleas, Regina absolutely refused to join in with any of the choreography. So instead she watched, observed, chuckled to herself when David and Killian began to harmonise whilst doing their own brand of karaoke.

Her attentions were alerted to a female voice, clear over the music, one that sounded exasperated. Regina noted the woman's long, flowing hair, as well as her pretty face, bright eyes highlighted in minimal makeup and she would have turned away then, the scene being none of her business, if she hadn't of heard _that_ British accent in response, which made her stomach churn just a little.

Shit. It's Robin.

Regina couldn't hear the conversation properly and she was sure as hell not trying to, she told herself, but then she realised she is staring. Staring directly at him, all grey pinstripe and blue eyes, and before she could turn away, he'd caught on. She saw his face drop the moment their eyes met and she tore her eyes away, unable to move, closing her eyes and exhaling a laboured breath.

"Regina?" Robin called out and he's by her side in seconds, having, she guessed, abandoned his argument. She plastered on a smile and turned. Oh God. That voice.

"Yes, hi, Robin." He could tell her smile is forced, she's sure, but she stuck with it, willing it to betray her nervousness at seeing her old friend again after so many years, as well as her ever so slight blush at his physical appearance. He always did look good in grey (and green). He stepped in to hug her, as they always had done and she accepted it as something she's needed. They had always been pretty touchy-feely when together, so this was no different, not really. He pulled away and that's when Regina noticed the glare from the pretty brunette just across the table. Pretty, despite the scowl on her face.

"That's Marian, my ex-girlfriend." Regina nodded, the word ex seemingly louder to her than the rest of the sentence.

"I had no idea you were friends with Mary Margaret or David," Regina said and Robin nodded.

"Mary Margaret's, actually. We have a mutual interest in archery," and he grinned that lopsided grin that won her over in the first place. "What about you?"

"Mary Margaret too," she said, "We worked together before I moved." She wondered how she and Robin's paths never crossed all this time, despite the unknown mutual friend. "Is Marian friends with them too?"

"By association," he gritted out. "We were both invited, but when we split up, she said she wasn't going to attend. I see she changed her mind."

So that explained their cross words. She realised that his ex was making her way over, but before she could escape, she's beside Robin, who is introducing her as an old friend, and Marian said it's nice to meet her in such a sharp way, Regina could have sworn she nicked herself just uttering it. Avoiding the possibility of a showdown and one at her friends' wedding no less, Regina excused herself with a _it was good to see you again_ to Robin, then walked away, over to Killian, who had a drink in one hand and a mic in the other.

Robin sighed. Regina looked stunning - that dress complimented her skin and although the other bridesmaids were wearing exactly the same thing, none of them pulled it off quite like she did. It's been years but, even at the high points of his varied relationships over the past eight years, he would still think of her. She'd never called, and this was the closest he'd managed to get to the woman in a long time. He turned to Marian, fizzling with anger at her abruptness.

"So that's Regina, then." Marian said, flicking her long waves over her shoulder.

"Yes. That's Regina." A sigh.

"The one who's name you called out."

Good God, not this again. If he wasn't embarrassed enough already by that, she's increased it tenfold now. "Yes, that is Regina, and I have apologised for that. I haven't seen the woman in years, okay? Please don't do this now."

She dropped her shoulders and sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, I… Just she's so… Beautiful."

 _Yes_ , Robin thought, but didn't voice it. "Look Marian, you're here, I'm here, but we're not here. I know you're here to… I don't know, maybe get us back together…"

She cut him off, raising her hand to stop him, rage brewing in her eyes, but her face remaining calm. "No, _Robin_ ," she said his name so forcefully he felt as if he were stumbling, "I am not here for that purpose and I can't believe how arrogant that entire sentence is." She glanced at the bride and groom. "Friends by association, yes, but they're my friends too, even if we met through you. You'd do well to remember that."

Marian glared, feels like she could say so much more, she's got so much more anger pent up inside her, but she decided against it. "I don't think you realise just how much you hurt me when you just _left_."

Robin ran a hand over his face, still regretting the way he left, but not regretting the fact he left. Still, this wasn't the place to rehash the past. "Can we step outside?"

* * *

Despite being in deep conversation with Killian, Regina noticed Marian leaving the tent, followed by Robin, who glanced at her for a fraction of a second before he's gone.

 _That's the last memory I'll have of him_ , she thought to herself. Accept defeat, Regina. They've likely patched things up and were heading home together. Their ship had sailed, yet it never really left the docks.

With that, she ordered a glass of champagne at the bar and for the first time in a very long time, she felt completely free. She'd felt free in her new location, free of the demons that Misthaven held, but never quite of her memories of Robin, that one night and that rejection, and now she realised that she had never felt free of it because she just didn't know where he was, or what he was doing, or even if he was okay. Now she knew, though, that he has or had a girlfriend pretty recently, was still alive, doing well. Maybe better than she was. So she stared into her champagne flute and mentally celebrates putting herself first, letting herself live. She's almost 30 now, wanted a life other than the continuous home-work-sleep cycle. The possibilities were endless and she smiled to herself.

Once Killian joined her, noticing her smirk and bounding over, that champagne was gone in no time, so she ordered another two and was glad for the company, for she dreaded to think just how pathetic she'd look drinking alone. She and Killian clinked glasses, over a toast to the bride and groom, and Regina filled him in on how Emma was doing ( _she's got a boyfriend, Killian, remember? Neal?_ ) to which he shared stories of the latest adventure he'd had on his boat, the unimaginatively named Jolly Roger.

When she got up to get another glass, however, the room spun a little so she apologised to Killian and told him she needed some air. He offered to join her, but she declined, told him he must absolutely take full advantage of the free bar.

Picking up her dress and doing her utmost not to trip over her heels, she headed out into the night air and rounded the corner, when she heard Robin's voice. Quite loudly too, answered by Marian's, just as loud but also high-pitched, exasperated.

They're arguing about her, she realised, for she heard her name repeatedly. Except for that one kiss she very much instigated (and he very much responded to), the two of them had never been near one another in any sexual manner, not to mention the fact that that kiss had happened eight years previously, and he'd only seen her once in that time. At her partner's funeral. He told Marian this very firmly and Regina figured that she knows about their brief dalliance all those years ago. Marian then growled something only Robin understood and he utters a defeated _fine_. Regina tucked herself away, out of sight and peeked round, watching Marian storm off. She then peered at Robin, standing there, staring after her. Before Regina could move towards him, Robin turned and headed back into the gazebo with a shake of his head.

She was the reason for Marian storming off and her fuzzy mind couldn't comprehend why. She rolled her eyes and decided to call it a night. It's late, she's tired, and she wanted time to herself before her flight back to Maine. She started to walk towards the hotel, to the exit, but then she realised she really should say goodbye to Mary Margaret and David. She also needed her clutch. Swearing to herself, she headed back into the party, which was still pretty damn lively, bids a farewell to the newlyweds and made her way to the table she was sitting at.

Except Robin was there, looking forlorn, staring into a glass of whisky, and there was no way she could retrieve her purse without him knowing she's there. So, what else could she do but: "Fancy another, Doctor Locksley?" That's right, grab her purse, buy him a whisky, make her excuses, say goodbye and leave.

He turned, seemingly surprised to see her. "Regina." He glanced down at his tumbler, near on empty. "Yeah. Get yourself one too. We have a lot of catching up to do."

"Oh no, I've had enough, I'm just going to go home." She grabbed her clutch, but her mistake was looking at his face. There was conflict, sadness, hope… she didn't know what the expression was, exactly, but she could edge a guess that it's due to his argument with Marian. "But I suppose I can stay for one."

She brought them back two whiskies (she needs something decidedly harder too) and she settled in the seat beside him. Robin held his glass up and Regina did the same.

"To whatever it is we're meant to be doing with our lives."

Bit of an odd toast, but she went with it. She took a sip of the bitter liquid and set it back down. They chat for a while, light topics, small talk. It's a relief and Regina told him so, thanked him for not looking upon her like she was some sort of eternally grieving widow like some of the wedding guests had earlier in the night when they realised she was attending alone. She thanked him for asking how she was, straight up, not how she's coping. They talked of work, how both were well on their way to achieving what they set out to do. Inevitably, talk of work led to Daniel, then to other deep matters.

"Marian and I split up because… Well, no. I ended it. She was relentless." Regina waited for him to continue and he did after a second, running his hand over his face. "Something happened," and he's not going to specify what exactly, "and she thought I was seeing someone else." Regina nodded , wondering what that _something_ was, but careful not to ask. "She's a wonderful person, really, but she's been burned so much in her life that I can't really blame her for thinking like that. But I also can't have her not trust me. I wasn't seeing anyone else, I just made a mistake without doing anything." Which made precious little sense, but it's true all the same. Calling out Regina's name in the throes of passion was wrong, but also not what Marian thought it was.

That made no sense, but she let it slide. She put her hand on his, squeezing it gently before retracting it. "Perhaps you just need time apart."

Robin shook his head at that. "No, I don't… I don't think it'll work. She doesn't trust me and that hurts. It hurts a lot, and without that, we can't be together. You know? I have honour, I live by my personal code and as of this moment, it's done." A pause. "It's taken a lot for me to admit that I was just staying towards the end because I wanted her to trust me. _Just one more day_ , you know? Maybe tomorrow she'll stop. Tomorrow never came so… So I just left. With no word."

Regina knew exactly what he means, for he did it to her, Daniel, Emma and August and her mouth twisted but he stopped her.

"I know what you're thinking, Regina, and I promise you, it's not a common thing for me to do."

"You have no idea what I'm thinking," she replied, her mouth forming a straight line. He actually hit the nail on the head, but she wasn't about to admit that. "Okay, so you left her, because of the lack of trust, but… What changed? What happened?" She finally asked , because nothing made sense anymore. The fact that they were sitting having this very conversation at the wedding of their mutual friend didn't make sense. Their timing never bloody made sense.

God, it's so embarrassing. "I… Called out someone else's name." He couldn't meet Regina's eyes and hoped that it came across as pure embarrassment, rather than the fact it was _her_ name.

Regina looked at him quizzically for a moment before her features creased into a smile, then into a full blown laugh, to which he looked stunned by, then ever so slightly annoyed. Still, it was a joy to see his old friend laugh like she used to when they were together as students. "You called out someone else's name? Jesus Robin, no wonder she's pissed. But you weren't seeing someone else?"

"No!"

"Then you must have been thinking about her," she added and Robin couldn't deny that one.

"She pops into my head now and again," he admitted, careful with his choice of words. "Marian is a wonderful, kind lady, but… But she isn't her." He breathed in. "I was never quite over her."

Their eyes met then and- oh, no. God, no. That look. That look said absolutely everything without saying a thing and he could see the panic register in her eyes and he cursed himself for being so transparent.

Marian's distaste towards her. Her name coming up in the argument. The whole damn fucking situation.

It was her. _She_ was the _her_ he was referring to. He called out _her_ name having sex with Marian. He was never over _her._ Robin fucking Locksley had fallen for her just as she had fallen for him. And those thoughts, ones that she'd pushed deep, deep down since _that night_ resurface.

Being with Daniel never felt wrong, ever. She loved him with all her heart, all her being, but she always wondered about Robin and why they lost touch, when the kiss shouldn't have mattered, because their friendship was worth far more than just one heated kiss. Now it makes sense; he most likely didn't contact her because he knew she was with Daniel, though she's not sure how. Maybe through Mary Margaret?

He really did always want the best for her, even if she didn't know what that was for herself.

That realisation knocked the air from her lungs, caused a blush to creep up and up her neck, over her face. She couldn't do this. Regina got up, almost knocking her chair over in the process and walked straight out of the gazebo, leaving him sitting there, stunned.

When her body hit the cool night air, she let herself breathe, but her heart was knocking against her ribcage, allowing rapid, shallow gasps. She slumped a little against the wall of the hotel, trying to get herself to calm down, but it just wouldn't work. Instead, she flagged down a cab with every intention of heading to her hotel.

She heard footsteps behind her but paid them no notice, until she felt a firm grip around her wrist, and Regina twisted to scream at her captor, but her intake of breath was muted by a hot, insistent mouth on hers. A mouth familiar from a far distant memory. Regina moaned and pulled away, her eyes boring and melting into Robin's, coffee-coloured into ice blue.

Their fire was alight and burning ferociously.

She grabbed Robin's jacket by the lapels and crashed her lips to his. It's his turn to moan and he stepped in towards her, pushing her back and back until she hit the wall, one hand on Regina's neck, the other claiming her hip, bunching the material of that oh so beautiful dress between his fingers as she parted her lips beneath him, allowing him access, the soft muscle tracing the inside of her top lip before darting into tangle against hers. Robin pressed her more snugly against the wall, the rough brickwork scratching and scraping at her bare back, but she's too engrossed in the feel of his hand caressing her thigh to care.

That continued for minutes? Hours? Mere seconds that felt like an eternity? Neither had any idea, but as the night air carried a sharp chill, their mouths part with a smack. Her gloss was gone, transferred and kissed away, lips pink and plump, eyes wide. Robin's breathing was heavy, his pants just a touch too tight.

One move away from here - together - and nothing would ever be the same.

"My… My room is on the… Ground floor…" He rasped as she placed light kisses upon his neck, but she didn't want to hear any more, simply slipping her hand into his.

"Take me there."

Double entendre, Robin thought, tugging on her arm and leading her through the dimly-lit corridors to his door at the end. He managed to pull himself together long enough to swipe the card key (harder than normal when there's a beautiful woman nipping at your neck), and they both fell through the door ungracefully, Regina kicking it closed with one uncoordinated heeled foot, her thigh then hitched up and around Robin's waist, their mouths meeting again as she's pushed against another wall, this one cool but so much smoother than the last.

The room was dark, save for the muted light from the street lamps outside and far off, they could hear the laughter of their fellow attendees, but as Robin locked his thigh between Regina's legs, half her dress bunched around her waist, the only thing either could concentrate on were soft hums, neither sure of which was coming from who, when her hips tentatively started to press against his thigh, neither of their mouths parted as she rocked and rocked, faster, becoming bolder, more confident.

It felt so damn good, the lace hidden beneath her dress causing friction just where she needed, arousal coating the wisp of fabric and she felt her hand dig into his thigh just that touch tighter. Then his hand fell away and he pulled back, a moan of displeasure emanating from her lips as he took in her appearance, dishevelled, jaw open and her eyes desperate, before he pressed himself to her again, ravishing her neck with tiny nips, licks and kisses.

He was hard against her stomach and the pure thought of him inside her after all those years of longing caused her to push her hips against him, causing a growl from deep within his throat, his hands travelling from her waist up to the column of her neck.

"I...have wanted...to do this...for the longest time…" Robin punctuated each word with a kiss to her skin, sliding his lips along to her shoulders and back again. He located the teeny tiny zipper at the side of her dress and dragged it down, beginning to peel the fabric from her awaiting body, moaning as he revealed the softness of her torso as he gave the dress a gentle tug, watching the material fall away from her body, barely covered in flesh-coloured lace. It's every bit as perfect as he thought it would be and he told her so, gently caressing her skin, before slipping his hand down to cup her sex, a move which takes her by surprise.

Robin pressed his fingers against her, before sliding his hand up and into the waistband of her panties, stroking his way down, down until his fingertips were slipping between her folds, dipping ever so slightly before settling on her clit, moving in smooth circles around the bundle of nerves. Regina's hips jolt, a moan and his mouth was back on her neck.

It's tortuous, this waiting, and she is ready, so ready, so she stilled his hand and he moved it away, claiming her lips again, pushing at the dress, leaving it to pool around her feet.

He took a second to step back and admire her. She was a vision, clad only in her underwear and heels (which are off straightaway - he remembers how small she is) and enough was enough. He pulled on her hand and she made quick work of ripping his shirt from the waistband of his pants, unbuttoning it, running her hands over his toned chest. Their lips fell together again, Regina swallowing his moan as she scraped her nails lightly down Robin's chest, to his pants, unbuttoned and unzipped, letting the material pool around his feet. He stepped away and twisted Regina towards the bed, laying her down, flinging off his shoes and socks and settling between her thighs, his kisses landing on any patch of skin within reach. Robin turned his attentions to her chest, tugging on the cups of her bra, freeing her breasts, wrapping his lips around her nipple, the peaks reacting to the attention almost immediately.

Regina's own hands fluttered back along his torso, over his boxers, and with one touch upon his cock, she knew he's ready for her, just as she was for him.

"Robin?" He looked up from her breast at her velvety tone. "Come here."

He moved up to face her, dropping a kiss to her forehead, jerking when her hand wrapped around his cock. "Are you…?" Robin whispered and she nodded, her gaze giving silent permission. He left the comfort and warmth of her body for a moment to retrieve a condom, rolling it on before hovering back over her, letting her hand wrap around his cock again, giving him a couple of strokes before guiding him inside her.

It's almost too much for him, to finally be inside this woman he's lusted after for so long, and he's so riled up that he has to hold himself back.

Regina too was affected, her back arching ever so slightly at the push of his hips, becoming accustomed to the feeling again after so many years. When Robin moved ever so slightly (and God does she feel exquisite around him and God, does she feel the movement), pleasure coursed through her veins and she raised her hands from his hips to his biceps, gripping tightly, sliding her hands to his shoulders, to his hips, his ass, as he moved that fraction faster, his face buried in the junction of her neck and shoulder, moaning against her skin.

Just the sound of his moans had her locking her ankles tighter, back launching off the mattress as Robin's hips moved faster and faster, chasing his and her release, splaying his hand where they join, his thumb tracing uncoordinated circles against her clit.

Just...one...more… Regina moaned, a deep sound from the back of her throat as she came, the sensation exploding right from her core and rushing around her body, her limbs scorching hot, unable to keep from trembling as he thrusts through her orgasm, attempting to kiss her again, but all but failing.

Robin's not far behind; one, two thrusts and he's spilling into the condom with a loud, relieved groan.

They didn't move from their positions, allowing time to recover, before he slipped from her warm and inviting body, getting their breaths back. Robin lifted his head from Regina's neck and studied her face. Her breathing was more regular now, but her eyes were closed, much more relaxed, rather than the scrunched, pleasured face she was sporting just minutes earlier.

She's so beautiful. He knew this, but in this moment she has never, ever looked so attractive and if this was the moment he knew he's fallen hard all over again… He couldn't blame himself. Overwhelmed, he pressed a firm kiss to her jaw, one that had her opening her eyes sleepily and turning so that her lips could meet his. Less heat, more affection as they enjoy the taste of each other's mouths.

He left her momentarily to dispose of the condom, then slipped back into bed beside her, fitting her back to his chest, their legs tangling. After a moment's silence, Regina took an audible breath.

"It's not the sex that I missed all these years," she started, "though that was a bonus...it was the intimacy."

So he's the first person she's been with in a long, long time. "What do you mean?" He could edge a guess, but he didn't want to assume, wanted her to tell him.

"This," Regina said, placing her hand over his where it was sitting on her stomach. "Afterwards, lying in someone's arms and just enjoying the closeness, feeling their body come down, knowing you've just given them everything you can." She paused. "I know I just did."

He hugged her tighter at that, kissing her shoulder gently. "Regina," he breathed, gathering his thoughts before: "Why did you never call?"

She opened her eyes, staring at the wall in front of her, exhaling audibly. "I just needed that clean break, Robin. I wasn't in the position or right frame of mind to start a relationship again." She turned over to face him, taking his hand in hers, knowing he's about to protest, she continued quickly: "No, I mean… I know you wouldn't be that insensitive, but we'd been apart for many years, and I don't necessarily mean a romantic relationship, but our _friendship_. I felt it was fractured beyond repair." She sighed deeply. "Not that I didn't pick up the phone with every intention of calling, of course. The time was just never right." She stared at him. "Why did you never try and find us?"

It's a question he knew was coming and although he had explained that he lost touch with a lot of people, he had found Regina easily. Once. "Embarrassment." She looked puzzled, he noted, and explained: "I rejected you and regretted it. It was a pride thing I suppose. Though… I did find you. Once."

She raised an eyebrow and props her head up on her hand. "You did..?"

"Mmm, I did a search for your name out of pure curiosity. Found a picture of you and Daniel." He remembered the uncomfortable feeling creeping down his back when he realised that the two smiling faces staring back at him on the screen really were two of his closest friends. "I knew he'd take care of you, just… Not that closely." Regina opened her mouth to protest, but he continued. "That's why I stayed away, Regina, because I didn't want to complicate things. If that picture was anything to go by, you looked happy and who was I to just barge back into your life like that? Also for selfish reasons… I guess I couldn't see my two best friends together like that."

It's a revelation to Regina though she probably should have guessed. "Well… As much as I would have loved to have had you in my life then, I understand where you're coming from. Thank you for explaining that. I've always admired your honesty."

She shuffled closer and he brought his arm around her, pecking her lips gently. "Regina, I…"

She placed a finger to his lips. "I know," she said, not knowing exactly what he's going to say, but feeling it. Feeling it but unable to let it go further. This would have to be it.

"This… Can't happen again. It won't work." She didn't need to add she didn't just mean this, but them. Their whole friendship, whatever that word meant now.

He huffed a breath against her ear, which made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, and he goes to protest, but he knows that she's right. This - _they -_ could never work. The distance, the past. She was someone far too out of his reach now, the time spent apart driving a crevice far too wide to cross. He was fresh out of a relationship and just not in a good place. It was never their time. "I know."

She shuffled forward again to nestle her head against his chest. "But…" She crept her hand up to rest it over his heart. "We have tonight. We have the rest of this evening to enjoy one another. To just… Forget."

Robin nodded, kissing her, tilting his head, pushing her onto her back and ravishing her once again. They were slower this time, picking up on each other's cues, taking their time to stoke the other's pleasure however they can.

When they did eventually fall asleep, it's in a tangle of limbs, sweaty, sated but above all, not an ounce of regret between the pair.

* * *

They made love again the following morning, with Regina straddling Robin's body, rocking and rocking to her release and he's with her every step of the way. They joked after that it's not a one night stand if it happened again in the morning. They joked some more, in fact, about Robin's far-too-clean-shaven look and how Regina had cut off the majority of her raven curls, noticing how time was slipping away from them, and when it's time to leave, they understood all too well.

When they left that room, the spell was broken and they were done. Their paths might cross occasionally, such was the way with mutual friends, but they wouldn't trade numbers or addresses, just goodbyes.

And, strangely, Regina was okay with that. In that moment of time anyway, for that was their moment.

Robin didn't know how he felt about letting Regina go for what was likely the last time, their parting kiss lingering, and he desperately wanted to ask her to stay, to be with him, but he knew his own life was in far too much of a mess to even contemplate asking her to put hers on hold for him. Robin Locksley was a good man, and he wanted her to be free.

And for a good few weeks, Regina did feel free. Who knew that she just needed a night of passion to set her back on the right track? (That's trivialising it, she realises: that night would never have worked if it had not been the right man, had not been Robin. Hell, it would never have happened, full stop.)

She's only free to live her life for a couple of weeks. Her mind stumbled and her speech stuttered when the doctor gave her the news.

She's pregnant.

It's Robin's.


	4. He Calls For Me

**I know, I know, _finally_ , but here's chapter 4. I had some issues with writing this, due to the terminology and medical stuff overall, but I would not have been able to do it without Shay, so this chapter is for you! Thank you to you and Lindsay for betaing.**

 **Still not in possession of these two, but hey.**

* * *

 _Present day, six years later_

Waking up is so difficult. Each and every single day, as she fights through layers of consciousness, each thicker than the last, she wills herself for time to turn back, just an hour, just so she can catch up on what sleep she has missed.

She is a mix of what she thought she would and wouldn't be: a doctor (would), a single mother (wouldn't), struggling in the bitter cold of a Maine winter to hold things together. Financially, she and her boy are okay, quite comfortable in her two-bed apartment, but mentally, Regina yearns for something more. Her father has passed now, died suddenly when her baby was two, her mother gone long before that, leaving no barrier, no family (that she was really in contact with anyway - Zelena might be her sister but only in blood, not in action), so it's just the two of them against the world.

Regina loves her child ferociously. Wants nothing but the best for her little prince, her saviour, the one person that pulls her through the darkest of days that can to plague her. One look at her son's smile and she knows whatever she feels can never be as bad as her boy feeling this way. She wants to protect him from the world.

She named him Henry, after her father, the one man with care and compassion she could do with having around. She fought with her parents as she got older, but as a teen, suddenly motherless after a freak accident took her mother's life, she had to do some growing up, fending for herself when it came to the more feminine side of things (especially as she hardly ever saw Zelena; Regina's sure the last time she saw the red headed monster was their mother's funeral), she realised just how much she could have done with having Cora around. She was not an easy woman by any means, she could be quite a vicious person put in the wrong situation, but the one thing she always was was there for Regina. Every school play, every parent-teacher conference, every recital, Cora Mills was at the front, tapping her feet, encouraging, even if she had some questionable ways of doing so and all Regina ever wanted to do was to please her; be note perfect, have a perfect GPA, be the perfect young lady. She knew she never wanted to be the same kind of pushy mother Cora was, but she knew that she wanted Henry to know she'd always be there for him, no matter what he decided he wanted to do or wanted to be.

Henry Senior, on the other hand, loved his only daughter unconditionally. Where Cora had forced her into music - the piano, the violin, the classics, as she liked to call them - Henry fully embraced his little girl's tomboyish side, getting her on a horse the moment she could walk, letting her muck out the stables, even getting her her own horse, Rocinante, for her birthday one year. It was a source of much contention between Cora and Henry, but for Regina it was the perfect respite; weekdays were her mother's world - school, music, social gatherings, whereas weekends were _her_ perfect world.

There was no other name her child deserved.

And it is the little life she created that gets her out of bed every morning, no matter how she feels. His cute little close-lipped smile first thing in the morning, one that turns into a toothy grin when he finds out they're going to read comic books together, his serious, caring personality. Henry has adopted so many of his mother's traits.

Except his eyes. His bright blue eyes are all Robin's and it's a constant reminder to Regina of that night.

She hadn't seen Robin since the wedding and he had no idea he'd become a father. It's been five years and he didn't ask her to stay, so she didn't want to risk him rejecting them, the fear of that feeling too much to bear (though deep down, she knows he never would. He's too honorable, knows he would love Henry, even if he hated her for keeping this secret.)

Regina leans against the doorframe of Henry's room. He's still fast asleep, the world passing him by, and Regina is quite okay with that. She hopes today will be a well day for him, especially as the past couple of days have been quite the opposite.

Her baby is sick. He's been sick for the last year or so, but in waves. Some days he's absolutely fine, but his bad days, where he can barely stand, confused and scared about why he feels so light-headed. Those are the days that Regina finds tough, having her little boy curled up in her lap as tears seep through his closed eyelids, the only respite he has to the nausea. Regina wants Henry to have as normal a childhood as possible despite his illness, so during the good waves, which can last days to months, she ships him off to school, teaches him how to ride a bike, lets him enjoy all the sports and musical instruments that interest him, takes him on trips in and around their state. He's taken to archery with great enthusiasm, something she knows Robin was into and every last fibre of her boy is a constant reminder. It's all worth it to witness his delight, though, creating the memories he may not have had if she'd of wrapped him up in cotton wool.

It's his heart. Henry has Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, alongside atrial arrhythmia and to anyone else, that would sound terrifying but to Regina, a doctor well versed in medical jargon, she knows immediately that it means his heart has the tendency to beat abnormally fast. It's not usually fatal and many people don't realise that they even have it, but the two together throws a whole new spanner in the works. So Regina supports Henry through the tough days, counts her blessings for the good and does her utmost to keep all other aspects of her life going just as well.

Regina may not have hoards of blood relations surrounding her, but if there's something she and Henry aren't lacking, it's love. Regina had chosen Storybrooke following a brief spell in Misthaven, after being headhunted by the hospital trust following a recommendation from Mary Margaret. With August having retrained as a teacher and in the area, Emma in a nearby county, not to mention her supportive colleagues, the two of them are set. Emma in particular is Regina's rock, Henry's godmother, her closest confidant… and the only other person to know that Robin is Henry's father. It's prompted some arguments, but the blonde is well aware that Regina is a stubborn woman and believes that she really is doing the right thing. The topic is avoided at all costs.

In terms of her career, following Henry's birth, maternity leave and her move to part-time hours for several years before Henry attended school full time, she has a good number of years experience, though she is behind in terms of her peers. There are days when the fact bothers her, but seeing Henry, when he puts his little arms around her neck for a hug, it doesn't matter anymore. He's the most important thing in her life. So she's a resident and content with that. For now.

She's also incredibly fortunate that her current boss, the formidable Dr. Mal Beaufort, aka The Dragon to her friends (and much less savoury terms to those intimidated by her), has been much more understanding than her previous boss (she's pretty sure Dr. Whale got his medical qualifications from a random dark curse, an inside joke amongst she and her colleagues), having found herself in a similar situation with her own daughter, Lily. For that, Regina is grateful, but a promotion and a little more money to tide them over the periods where Henry's really unwell and needs her wouldn't hurt. Regina is good at her job, is told often enough, but the opportunities to progress are few and far between for a resident without all the added baggage, let alone her.

So today was going to be just your normal day at Storybrooke Infirmary - as normal as your day can be when you're a busy children's doctor on a noisy ward, where anything can happen at any time, from projectile vomiting to an impromptu party for a sick kid sadly stuck in hospital on their birthday. Regina's backed up with pointless paperwork as she sees it - she would much rather be on her rounds, doing the job she was trained to do, rather than exhausting both her hand and her pen. However, needs must, and this is mandatory, so she'll have to plow through, ignoring the seemingly empty desk of her colleague, Ella Ville, of whom she has the misfortune of sharing an office. Thankfully, the woman is nowhere to be seen, so instead of being talked at ( _at_ , not _to_ ) and treated to stories of she and her boyfriend James's latest escapades, Regina has some peace.

Relative peace, as it being a _normal day_ also brings with it the anxiety of looming pay cuts and the ever-present risk of redundancy. The whole restructure is very hush hush - even Mal is tight-lipped on the score - and so there are unanswered questions and an undeniable tension in almost every room.

There's another meeting about the situation, under the premise of _keeping everybody notified_ , according to the emails and bulletins that staff have been receiving (Regina wonders why they bother with these face-to-face meetings when all the administration seem to do is give an indirect answer to a direct question. They may as well carry on sending out emails) and the mere thought of it has her rolling her eyes. Just another waste of time.

It was going to be one of those days.

She smoothes the short wisps of hair that have fallen from her teeny tiny ponytail behind her ears as she takes a second to glance up and out of her office. Paeds is as busy as usual - anxious parents, resilient children and stressed staff alike - so everything seems to be under control out there, at least. One last glance and her eyes are back on the folders before her. As much as she can get done before hunger or the ward gives out. Whichever happens first.

The _big meeting_ as it's been dubbed is scheduled to start at 3pm. Regina had barely managed to bite into her sandwich before she was called to assist with the diagnosis of a particularly finicky child, Hansel, the boy refusing to cooperate without the promise of a cupcake. Not good for his diabetes, of course, and Regina, alongside his teen sister Gretel, manage to talk the boy down so far that he can be examined.

She could have done with the extra time, instead of this meeting, especially when the administration, headed by the downright monstrous Isaac Heller, is delayed by half an hour. The majority of the paeds wing is in attendance in the largest conference room, waiting to be told some half-assed semi-political face-saving shit. In the midst of their wait, a colleague asks after Henry and it puts a smile on Regina's face to think of her little boy, explaining how he was so excited to go to school that day because they were due to draw comics in their art lesson and how she can't wait to see how his imagination has run riot. She's in the middle of her last point, when Mal clears her throat.

They actually have an announcement, rather than some blame agenda. It is explained that, yes, there will be some cutbacks and those affected have already been informed, but any further loss is yet to be announced. These cutbacks have affected other clinics and surgeries in the wider area so, as part of this, there will be a merger, an announcement that has murmurs reverberating around the room.

At that, Mal introduces the first of two new visiting clinicians, Dr. Neal Cassidy, oddly also known as Baelfire for reasons not divulged, famous not only for his skill as a trauma surgeon specialising in infants and his disastrous affair with Regina's very own best friend Emma, but also as the somewhat estranged son of the highly respected, highly decorated and unashamedly arrogant former trauma surgeon Dr. Gold, now a specialist in private clinics and cosmetic surgery.

Mal goes on to explain that both doctors will work alongside one another and her team for six months, before deciding on which of the two will receive a permanent position within the ward as a peer of The Dragon herself. Regina _knows_ that Neal will receive the position - although he's not exactly fond of his father, Gold is on the board and goes to many lengths to attempt rekindling a relationship with his son, so in this case, Regina _knows_ nepotism will win out. So God help the other in the running.

It's not a thought she hangs on to for long, for the next announcement has her jaw dropping and her skin aflame.

Doctor Robin Locksley.

Today really was _not_ one of those days.


	5. Just Be Honest

To think that this chapter took less time than expected! Ahead of tomorrow's finale (and our goodbyes to most of the current cast, sob), enjoy some OQ, SQ / DQ friendship and some Regal Believer, as well as Dimples Queen.

Thank you, as ever, to Shay and Lindsay for reading this over.

I just checked and, even though we OQers were credited with creating OQ, I still don't own them. How does that work..?

* * *

Regina takes one look at Robin before dropping her head again. No, this cannot be happening. Not now, not _ever_. It _is_ happening though, and throughout Mal's explanation of the next steps regarding the merger, Regina remains staring at the floor, her knees, her hands - anything but up, willing for the meeting to end so she can slip away unnoticed and buy herself some extra time before her inevitable run-in with her ex-friend… who also happens to be the father of her child.

No such luck, however, for she decides to look up just for the briefest moment, just to see if she's imagining things when their eyes meet, blue on brown. Where Regina immediately tears her eyes away, Robin's brow furrows in recognition, just as surprised as she. His ex-best friend and one-night-only lover all in one. He schools his features almost immediately, however, as Mal closes the meeting with a _thank you_ , before the attendees file out of the room.

Regina jumps up, head still hung as their colleagues mill around about them but he knows better than to call for her and put her in a position that might be awkward for her to explain later. Instead, he resolves to find her later in a quieter setting. He just wants to see how she is.

* * *

 _Shit._ The only word to come out under her breath once she reaches the safety of her office. Pulling the blinds to, she closes her eyes and takes a breather. Robin Locksley was _not_ who she was expecting to see, still attractive, still the father of her baby. _Shit_. Her palms come to her face as she wipes unexpected tears away, sitting back at her desk. Hopefully she won't be disturbed and the paperwork pile would numb her mind for an hour.

It works, for the most part at least, Regina grumbling as she sees some of Ella's files have magically snuck their way into hers, which she counters by firmly dropping them back on her desk for when the woman returns. Glancing at the clock, Regina knows that afternoon rounds are approaching, so she may as well prepare, flicking through the appropriate files before leaving her office.

And running right into Robin.

"Oh, apologies, milady." When Robin realises just who it is he's bumped into, he stops. "Regina? Mills? I thought it was you…"

She notices that he's speaking in a low voice and for that, she's grateful, but it doesn't stop her eyes from scanning the corridor in which they're standing. "Sorry," she finally gets out, once she's found her voice again. "I just wasn't expecting to see you."

"You and I both." Of course, it's just as much a shock for him. "How've you been?"

Never has Dr. Regina Mills been so pleased for impending ward rounds, for it gives her the perfect get out clause. She tells him so, that she's on her way to check up on her patients, so she can't stop to chat, just as Mal rounds the corner.

"Dr. Mills, Dr. Locksley. It's good to see you acquainting yourselves," she says dryly. "Rounds?"

"Yes, just coming," Regina replies, holding up the folders resting in the crook of her arm.

"Good." Mal takes a good look at Robin then, a smirk on her face. She'd interrupted _something_ and she knows Regina won't tell her outright, so she'll have to coax it out of her later. "Dr. Locksley, why don't you join us? Be good for you to see how we work here before you get really stuck in." That should do the trick, for Mal registers Regina's surprised face, her brows shooting into her hairline, an expression mirrored on Robin's face.

"Sure," he replies with confidence, Mal giving Robin the lowdown on their patients, the trio heading off to start their rounds.

* * *

The whole scenario is ludicrous, Regina thinks. The boss, the ex-friend, the father, three highly trained professionals all with issues of their own - some intertwined, some not, congregating around the foot of a child's bed. However uncomfortable the situation may feel, though, she learns quickly that Robin is very easy to work with. Pleasant, even, as he listens to her diagnoses, agrees with a nod and a smile (and that's to everyone, not just Regina, so she knows he's not just doing it for appearances' sake) or disagrees with steadfast reasons why. He's not arrogant by any stretch, a nice contrast to Graham (she doesn't even want to think of that man right now) and if she needs to work alongside him, she thinks she can deal with it. As long as it remains completely professional.

As the clock reaches eight and Regina prepares herself to leave, files sorted, shift relatively quiet and uneventful, but a knock at the door has her voicing a _come in_ and, yet again, Regina is staring back up at Robin.

"Your own office, huh? Done well for yourself, Mills."

Regina scoffs at that, beckoning him in, asking him to close the door, as he does and takes a seat. "Yes, my own office. Sort of." She points to Ella's desk plaque. "I share, but thankfully, today is her day off."

"Rowdy colleague?" Robin asks, spying the mess of her desk compared to Regina's.

"Something like that. That's organised chaos, by the way," Regina quips, waving her hand towards Ella's desk. "Mine's just… organised," she grins.

"So I see. I think I lean somewhere towards the organised chaos end of the spectrum." This is all small talk and despite the smile on her face, Regina wants to know exactly what's going on.

"Robin, what _are_ you doing here?" She asks firmly, but not unkindly, as he leans back in his chair.

"Well, for one, I had absolutely no idea that you were here, just to clear that one up. If you're talking about me coming to see you, here, now… I just thought it might be easier on us both to clear the air in private. You know, I have no agenda and no plans to uproot anything for you."

Regina breathes a sigh of relief and she believes him. Unsettling her would never be his intention and, as he looks away, she glances at the picture of Henry on her desk, thankfully turned towards her. One look at the child, at his eyes and Robin would _know_ Henry was his. "I know, Robin, and I appreciate that. I would also appreciate keeping it all professional."

"Oh, without a doubt, Dr. Mills. I am the epitome of professionalism," he says, giving her a lopsided grin, something that has sent her quite silly in the past. "But seriously, I understand. It's nice to see you either way, you're looking well."

That's because right now is a _good_ period. A good period for Henry is a good period for her. "Thanks," she says, returning his smile. It's nice to hear a compliment every so often, especially after a long day. "As are you, Thief."

"Thief? Already?" He imitates looking at his watch. "Only took you five minutes to dig that one out, Queenie."

Her eyes narrow, but they're full of humour. "It's _Your Majesty_." She shakes her head. "I've got to go but I'll see you around," she says, standing and grabbing her bag.

"Of course. Have a good night, Regina."

* * *

Henry had been pretty sleepy by the time Regina had collected him from Granny's Daycare, but not tired enough to, when they got home, not show her all his new cartoon creations, explaining in great detail each character's superpowers, their backstory and what adventure they were going on as well as how he was so excited to show his Auntie Emma all his art at the weekend. Her son certainly had quite the imagination and she could see just how excited he was by it all by his big blue eyes and if it stole her breath away before, it knocked her harder than ever now.

Robin was back and he had no idea he had a child. This time, there was no way out, the truth would be revealed sooner rather than later. She'd make peace with that in time, but she begs to the cosmos, whatever higher being, that she'd have enough time to tell Robin herself. To figure _how_ to tell Robin herself.

Once Henry was fast asleep - and oh, did she make sure he was fast asleep - she dialled Emma's number, curling up on the sofa with her knees tucked up under her chin, willing the busy blonde to pick up.

 _Hey, you're through to the voicemail of Emma Swan. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now…_

Regina sighs, toying with the idea of just calling back later, but she _needs_ to talk. She rarely leaves a voicemail so, should Emma see it, she'd know it was important.

"Hey, Emma, it's Regina." A breath. "Listen, could you give me a call back? It's about…" she pauses. "Can you just call me back, please? Soon? Thanks."

When she hangs up, she's only waiting half an hour or so before she hears the shrill sound of her phone.

"Sorry!" The blonde apologises profusely. "I was in the shower. Your voicemail - are you okay..? Is Henry?" Regina could hear the panic in Emma's voice and now, considering the fact she left her a voicemail, she can see why she might be anxious and Regina sets about putting that right.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. So's Henry," she assures and Regina hears Emma's sigh of relief at the other end.

"Thank God, I thought something had happened."

"I just needed to talk, Emma. You got a minute?" she asks, hoping that the answer is yes.

"For you, Queenie? Anytime. Shoot."

A lengthy pause and Regina knows Emma is about to ask if she's still on the line, but eventually: "It's about Robin."

Regina hears Emma's irritated huff of breath. "Regina, you know that we don't talk about Robin. The amount of times that our friendship has almost come to an end because of him…"

"... yes, but I brought him up," Regina interrupts, noticing how her hands have curled up into tight fists at the mere topic of conversation.

"True," Emma acquiesces. "So, what about him?"

"He's…" Regina takes a deep breath. "He's working with me."

Silence. A long silence too, one that's uncomfortable and deafening. "Are you _joking_?"

"Emma." Regina pinches the bridge of her nose, tipping her head back. "I can only wish I was."

"Have you told him?" She can't help herself, Regina realises, she _has_ to get that in there the moment Robin is mentioned and Regina would be lying if it didn't raise her ire a little.

"No, I haven't. It's hardly something I can drop into conversation. _Yeah, hi, nice to see you again. By the way, remember that time we had sex at our mutual friends' wedding? Yeah I had your baby. Have a nice day!_ Come on Emma, you need to cut me a little more slack."

"Fine, fine," comes her defensive reply. "Sorry. That must have been a shock."

"And then some," she scoffs, raking her nails through her hair. "I'm going to tell him, I am, but I need it to be on my terms and in a way that protects Henry. It's going to affect him so much too."

"Of course," Emma replies softly. "I can't imagine what this feels like. Sometimes though, ripping off the band aid all at once is the best choice. You've already left it, what, six years? Don't let another pass you by."

Regina nods, before remembering Emma can't see her. "Yes, yes I know." She sighs. "Let him get settled in. Then I'll drop this bombshell onto him."

Emma realises that nothing is going to be achieved by arguing the importance of Robin knowing he has a son and she has faith that the brunette has it in hand. "Alright, well, if you need me, you know where to find me. Also, it would be nice to see him after so long… why don't you invite him to Mary Margaret and David's barbecue?"

Regina hums. "Well, I'm sure they know he's back by now. News spreads fast on a quiet day… and on a hectic day too. The curtains have ears and even busier mouths."

"True," Emma laughs.

* * *

Turns out Regina was correct; David found out about Robin's return through Ruby, the leggy, fiery receptionist (" _there's a new doctor on the paeds wing… English. Ooh, the English accent is just so attractive… better hide Mary Margaret, David!"_ She'd told him, piquing his interest enough to investigate, surprised but pleased nonetheless to find his mysterious new Brit was none other than his incommunicado friend) and had indeed been invited to this barbecue.

"Ah, yeah, so you had been invited?" Regina asks nonchalantly as the two of them walk back towards her office.

"Yeah. He said he was glad to see I was actually still alive. The only reason he knew I was fine was due to the Christmas cards I'd send to him every year without fail. Even then, he said it could have been someone else masquerading as me," he jokes, recounting David's tale of a programme he'd seen on Netflix where the very same thing happened. "But I assured him it was me."

She nods. "Are you going?"

"I said I'd think about it. I've got a couple of things to deal with this weekend and…"

His sentence is cut off by a very loud, very enthusiastic "Papa!" from the end of the corridor. Both doctors turn and Robin crouches down with his arms open as Regina discovers just what the _couple of things to deal with at the weekend_ really were.

She watches as Robin fully embraces the little boy with his dark curls, dark eyes and deep dimples and there is no mistaking that _this_ is his son. His _other_ son. The one he knows about. Shit.

"Oh, Regina, let me introduce you to the light of my life." He gathers the boy into his arms and stands, the boy sitting contentedly in his Dad's embrace. "Regina, this is Roland. Roland, this is Regina, one of your Papa's oldest friends." Roland squeaks out a quiet _hello_ before turning away shyly, burying his head against Robin's neck. "He's always like this around the presence of beautiful women," he chuckles and Regina goes to make a perhaps inappropriate quip about how he's quite the opposite, but she's stopped by the stone cold attractive eyes that meet hers.

Marian.

Robin senses the change in atmosphere and he knows that he should have seen coming, but he's still unprepared for the death glare Marian is serving the female before her. Robin puts Roland down, who runs back to Marian. After a couple of seconds, she tentatively approaches the two of them.

" _Regina?_ " Marian asks, the disbelief evident in her voice.

"Yes. Hi, Marian. Nice to see you again." She's not sure if that's a little white lie or one massive black hole waiting to suck her in, but by the scoff the brunette gives her, she knows it's the latter.

"We don't need to do pleasantries, not really." She sighs. "Well, this is awkward, huh. You didn't tell me you worked together," she addresses Robin, hands on her hips.

"Honestly, it is a very, very new development," he pleads. "It's been a couple of weeks and what with you worrying about your job... I don't know, it didn't seem the right time to tell you."

Regina must be missing a link here, somewhere, because the last time she saw Robin, he had _very definitely_ broken up with Marian. Now the two are talking like they're married or _something_ and she's going to ask what exactly is going on, but Mal rounds the corner just as opens her mouth to speak. She's been insanely good at that recently, Mal, popping up at certain times. Perhaps a little _too_ good.

"Is there a problem here, doctors? Every time I see you two together, there's normally some sort of dilemma or… _issue_ ," she trails off, giving Marian the once over, and Regina notices how Marian's brow lifts at Mal's words.

"None at all, my shift is almost over," Robin states, indicating to the clock. "Roland, Marian, this is Dr. Beaufort. Her friends call her Mal." Roland stares and stares at the blonde before him, before moving to hide behind his Papa's legs, intimidated. "Marian was just dropping him off on her way to work."

Mal nods at that, stepping forward to shake Marian's hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Locksley," and the phrase makes Marian wince.

"Former Mrs Locksley. Robin and I divorced a while ago." She speaks in a low voice, no doubt for Roland's benefit and Regina feels that little hint of relief bubble in her chest that she didn't even realise she needed.

Mal nods in understanding at the two chat a little while, small talk about careers (Marian's a sous chef at Michelin star restaurant Aesop's Tables, where Mal has been several times and been very impressed) and motherhood, leaving Robin and Regina standing between the two women, their eyes meeting in silent apology.

Marian glances at the clock and utters an expletive under her breath. "Sorry, I've got to go or I'll be late. Nice meeting you, Dr Beaufort." She almost completely ignores Regina, kneeling down to give her son one last hug, before standing and reeling off a couple of details to Robin, before bidding them all adieu, all but running through the double doors.

"Go, Dr. Locksley," Mal says. "Go enjoy your weekend off. See you bright and early Monday morning." Robin thanks her profusely, calling to Roland that it's time to go and with a quick goodbye, they're also gone.

Regina turns to open her office door but she is stopped by Mal's gravelly voice.

"Dr. Mills. A word."

* * *

The tone of Mal's voice hasn't changed once they're settled in her office, the Dragon Lady asking her _exactly_ what the deal is between she and Locksley. "I've noticed and I'm of no doubt that others have noticed too, but there is a _lot_ of tension between the two of you. Now, you'll either tell me or you won't, that's up to you, but I do _not_ want it affecting the way you work both together and with the rest of the team, understand?"

Regina feels like she's back in the principal's office again. "Yes, of course. He's an old friend from med school, okay, one I never thought I'd see again, seeing as he dips in and out of our lives like no-one's business." She sighs and pushes her hair back. "It was just a shock to see him and I'm still dealing with it, I guess," she admits with a shrug, chancing a quick glance down at her photo of Henry. "But he's good at what he does and is a pleasure to work with."

Mal silently nods, taking in every last word Regina is saying. "So you would say you'd choose him over Dr. Cassidy to get the permanent position on this ward?"

What? Whoa, no, she didn't say that and she tells her boss so. "I haven't worked with Dr. Cassidy enough to give you a proper response to that, Mal, and I think you know that."

"Just testing," she replies with a smirk, standing. "You have a good weekend too, alright? Say hi to Henry for me. Tell him I very much liked the picture of the dragon he drew for me, though I wouldn't have the faintest clue why he'd draw _that_ for me, of all creatures, would you?" Regina is left shaking her head as the blonde exits, the door clicking closed behind her.

* * *

She fills Emma in on all the latest developments that night over a bottle of wine and a romcom DVD once Henry was completely worn out by playing with the women he considered his two moms - their perfect remedy to a long day and an ideal way to welcome in the weekend. From the fact Robin was married to Marian, the interactions with Mal and of course, the big one…

"He has a son. He can't be any more than four," Regina tells Emma, following the sentence with a taste of bitter red.

"Well I don't know whether to be surprised or not, but at least you know that he likes kids. Or his kids, in any case," Emma states, also taking a sip.

"Mmm, that kid - Roland - adores him. It's plain to see and I've only met him once! I guess on one hand it means that I don't feel quite so nervous that he may reject Henry, but…"

"... but you're not just affecting him, yourself or even just Henry now, but Roland," Emma says, finishing her sentence.

"Exactly. I mean, he's young, maybe he'd like a cool older brother who loves Marvel and art. I know I would have given anything for Zelena to be even just an older sister to me, let alone a good one. Still though, that's four people. Five if you include Marian and God, if that wasn't a revelation."

Emma nods sympathetically. "Each and every way you look at it, it's a complicated situation." Regina agrees and they clink their glasses. "Still, whatever happens, you'll always have Henry. You are the sun and the stars to that little boy."

"And he's my whole world," she muses, a gentle smile on her face.

* * *

The weekend of the Nolans' barbecue brings beautiful weather with clear skies and a sense of summer in the air. Henry is well, happy and that, in turn, makes Regina happy. She knows there's a chance that Robin may very well be in attendance at this gathering, but he might not, so she brings her son along to enjoy his time in the sunshine.

When they do arrive, the party is already in full swing, the gentle scent of burning coals fragrant in the air. Henry carries the homemade salsa dip carefully in his hands (he insisted) whilst Regina, dressed in a long floral sundress follows behind him with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. Both are greeted by David and Mary Margaret in turn and the moment Henry sees the bouncy castle in the corner of the garden, the salsa dip is in his mother's hands and the boy is flying off towards the inflatable.

"So you heard Robin's now working here, huh? I can't believe you two were friends in college!" Mary Margaret grins, her hands rubbing her rounded stomach.

"Is it so hard to believe?" Regina grins, thanking David for the cool bottle of beer he passes to her from the cooler. "Yeah, we were good friends."

"Emma mentioned," and Regina nods, though now Mary Margaret knows, it's sure to spread like wildfire. "She'll be here soon. Help yourself to food and more drinks as you wish. It's a free bar here! First though, come see the baby's room!"

Thank God for that. She might need a glass or two. She follows Mary Margaret into the house then, wanting to show her the newly decorated nursery.

* * *

"Do you like colouring too?" comes a voice from behind Henry. He turns to see a curly-haired child, some years younger than himself staring at him, crayons in one hand, paper in the other.

"Yeah, I love it," Henry replies, inviting his new companion to come and sit beside him. "Wanna help me colour this robot?" He asks and the child enthusiastically nods.

"Beep boop!" Roland picks up a crayon and begins carefully colouring inside the lines, tongue poking out in concentration. "I'm Roland."

"I'm Henry."

* * *

There's certainly an easy-going energy in the air as Emma arrives, beer bottle in hand, immediately making a beeline for her godson.

"Hey Henry!" He whips his head round to see his Auntie Emma and he waves, beckoning her over. Emma wraps her arms around the boy's torso and peers over his shoulder. "Your newest recruit?" She points at the intricate robot on the page, complete with little scribblings of what each button does.

"Uh huh! And Roland is helping me colour." The blonde glances over to see the younger kid lost in his task. "That's Roland. He's great at colouring!"

That causes Roland to look up, giving Henry a gap-toothed smile, proud of his work. "I'm very careful," he announces, his chest puffing out in confidence.

"Very good job, Roland!" Emma says and she returns his grin until it clicks.

Roland.

Roland _Locksley._

Which means…

"Emma? Emma Swan?" Her smile falters for a moment before she pulls it together and turns to see Robin. He's a little fitter, a little greyer since she last saw him but his eyes have lost none of their cerulean sparkle.

And damn, Henry really _does_ have his eyes.

"The one and only," she replies, tentatively stepping in to embrace her long-time friend. She'd forgotten how good a hugger he was and, just for a moment, she allows herself to be 21 again, at the point right before life got far too hectic.

"Is this your friend, Papa?" comes Roland's sweet voice from behind the two of them and they turn, Robin's arm still around Emma.

"It is indeed! Roland, meet Emma, and this is my son, Roland." Emma waves at him and he waves back, eyeing her cautiously. "You have another friend too?" He asks and Robin nods. Emma, on the other hand, does her absolute best not to say Regina's name, to stop Henry catching on, asking where his mom is and alerting Robin to the fact that he is with both his sons right now.

"Yes. Daddy has lots of friends here," _it seems,_ he adds silently. "So, how have you been? It's been a while."

"It has," she responds wryly. "No doubt you're going to fill us in on where exactly you've been." Robin opens his mouth to respond but decides it's best to just leave that alone until little ears are out of range.

"Mmm. So, who's your new friend, Roland?" Robin asks, strolling up to his son before Emma can distract him.

"I'm Henry," he says proudly and Emma hopes for all their sakes that he doesn't mention his surname. She watches as Robin chats to him about his robots, all 15 of them, how they all do different things and Robin suggests some, suggestions Henry takes gladly, scribbling them down in his own unique penmanship, the conversation between the two flowing easily.

"Henry, Henry! Come play on the castle!" Roland yelps, nudging the older boy's arm. "Come on!"

Henry grins, putting down his pencil, standing with a "race ya!" as both her and Roland run to the bouncy castle.

* * *

The nursery is very beautiful, intricately painted with wisps and waves, butterflies and roses, but the scent of paint is really starting to give Regina a headache. Same goes for Mary Margaret, and so the pair head out back into the fresh air, gathering food from the barbecue which David has willingly dished out.

Regina scans the garden for her son. He was sitting at the table colouring when she went with Mary Margaret, but she can see that his creations have been left where she left him. She frowns for a moment before seeing him on the bouncy castle, a laugh coming from him as he waves in her direction. It's so nice to see him enjoying himself that her eyes are fixed on the inflatable and she walks right into a solid body.

"Well, afternoon, Dr. Mills." Regina looks up to find Robin looking straight at her. She stares for a moment, blinking, before catching herself, finding her voice.

"Uh, hey, Robin. What are you doing here?" A stupid question really, for she had already discussed the possibility of his attendance some time ago, plus she can imagine he may want to catch up with old friends.

He smirks, thinking the same thing as she, but he decides not to voice it. "Well, I like a good hamburger and," he offers her a plate, "from what I remember, you do too."

She nods slowly, taking the paper plate from him. "Thank you. What's in it?" she asks, peeling back the layers.

"Obviously a sesame bun as you can see, cheese, lettuce. No onion, you don't like how it makes your breath smell and no tomato either. Just a smattering of burger sauce," he points out. "I remember, Regina." He winks and she smiles, a real, genuine wide thing.

"Forever attentive. Really, thank you," she nods, raising it to her lips and taking a bite, humming at the multitude of flavours. "God, that's good. David really knows how to cook a burger."

Robin folds his arms then. "Bet I could do it better."

Regina's eyebrows raise as she swallows her first bite. "Is that so? I didn't realise it was a competition! Then again, you guys - everything's always a competition." She laughs, her shoulders shaking. It's just like being back at med school, even if for just the most fleeting of moments.

"Momma!" Henry's voice travels through the air and hits her eardrums, instantly killing the easy mood they'd slipped into. Henry runs over to the pair, tugging on Regina's hand and as Robin opens his mouth to ask exactly what Henry means by _Momma_ , a high pitched wail comes from by the bouncy castle, causing both adults to turn their heads.

"It's Roland, Momma, he jumped and fell!" Both Regina and Robin make their way over to the little boy, who is sitting up on the grass, clutching his arm, sobbing. Regina asks the small crowd gathering to give them some room and she kneels down beside the boy.

"Hey Roland, remember me?"

He stares at her for a second before nodding. "Yeah," he sniffs, "you're my Papa's friend who works at the hop'ital," he explains through his tears.

"That's right," Regina confirms, carefully taking the boy's arm. He's painfully aware of every move, every touch and this won't do, but Robin's at her side, distracting his boy with a story of the time he fell off a trampoline in his back garden in England and Regina listens, as does Henry, she notes, enraptured by how he tells such a tale with flair and amusement (Henry definitely inherited that from his father) and how grateful she is that it is enough distraction for her to look at Roland's arm without him being too uncomfortable.

"And how old were you?" Henry asks, his hands to his mouth.

"Fifteen…" Robin trails off and Henry shrieks, laughing loudly, as does Roland, tears all but forgotten. "... and I got this scar to go with it." The two boys stare at the small nick on Robin's wrist with great curiosity and when Henry proudly declares _I want a cool scar like that too!_ , Regina quickly shuts that thought down.

"There you go, Roland," Regina smiles, rolling his sleeve back down. "Just a bit bruised. It'll hurt for a little while but you'll be fine again in no time. She stands, smoothing out her dress as Robin picks Roland up for a hug. Seems he's forgotten about his mini injury already as he wriggles in his Papa's grasp once he's done with the hug, Robin setting him down on the grass as he runs to follow Henry.

"So," the Brit says as he turns, "Momma? I had no idea you'd had a child."

Regina swallows thickly and forces a smile, one that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I… I did. Yeah." She doesn't quite know what else to say, but he inadvertently saves her the trouble.

"Henry, huh? After your Dad? Great man," he says and Regina's smile is more genuine this time, nodding at his question. "He's really into comics, yeah?"

"Almost obsessed," Regina chuckles. "He's into robots at the moment, as he's probably already told you." They watch their boys play together from a distance and this, Regina thinks, is okay. Robin can know she has a son without needing to know much more than that for now, and she can think about just how she's going to tell him. She will tell him. Soon. Just… not now. The time isn't right, he's only just walked back into her life - unexpectedly too - and it just isn't…

"How old is he?" It's a question she expected, yet didn't want to have to answer and one that, once he knows the answer, will reveal everything… and rapidly too.

Regina can't lie though, is terrible at it, truly, and she tells him Henry's age before she can talk herself out of doing anything else. The silence that follows is truly maddening, but when she chances a glance up at him, she realises he's just nodding, enjoying the sight of their sons together. She could leave it at that - he doesn't seem to have put two and two together just yet - but she knows it's only a matter of moments before he does indeed do the math and work it out.

It will be better coming direct from her.

She clears her throat and Robin turns to look at her. "Could we have a chat, please?" she asks, doing her best to keep her voice measured. "In there?" She crooks her thumb back at the house behind her and he nods, his hand on her elbow as they walk back in, sitting opposite one another on the cream leather.

There's silence and as Regina breathes in, a deep rush of air, ready to position her news, Robin speaks.

"When were you going to tell me?" he asks quietly, gently and Regina's chocolate eyes snap up to meet his sea-blue ones in an instant, giving him a puzzled look.

"Wh- what?" she stutters. She likely knows what he's going to ask, but she's not going to rock the boat violently, suddenly if she doesn't need to. It doesn't matter though, he's _done the math_.

"That Henry's my son."


	6. Keep in Touch

**It's been a long while, but after quite some time, I got my muse back for this and I present you with chapter six! Thank you to Lindsay for reading this multiple times and a _massive_ thank you to Shay for a) helping me navigate Henry's responses and some valuable insight on child psych and b) confirming to me that I never, ever want to write a child of six again!**

 **A couple of notes:  
* Henry's wearing Jen's ( starscythe) OQ robots tee, which you can buy on redbubble! Proceeds go to charity. For the RB link, visit Jen's twitter - it is the pinned tweet. Beep boop! **

*** I've also noticed a couple of time discrepancies in previous chapters, may have been a typo on my side, but chapter three is meant to be three years later. There's also a few formatting issues... but that's less pressing.**

 **I still don't own any of these characters, but I put them on my Christmas wish list...**

* * *

Regina scowls a little as she slips another earring into place. Her lipstick's smudged around her coffee mug and, as she uses her ring finger to buffer the stain away, she deeply wishes that she could have added something _stronger_ to that pot.

She'd told Robin that Henry was his son several weeks back - rather, he'd told her he'd guessed - and today would be the first time they'd meet as father and son.

Nerves bubble at an alarming frequency in Regina's stomach, threatening to spill out in an altogether more physical fashion and she wills herself to not throw up the limited contents of her stomach.

* * *

" _When were you going to tell me?"_

" _What?"_

" _That Henry's my son."_

 _The world stopped for Regina then, but only for a moment, before it started spinning, faster, faster, his words a cyclone, ringing out louder and louder. She was_ about _to tell him. Was about to state her reasons, build it up, cushion the blow. Would it have been a blow to Robin? To discover he had another child on this earth? Oh dear God…_

" _Regina." She's pulled from her cacophonic reverie by the stern utterance of her name._

" _Sorry," she muttered and damn well she should have been, for this is a bombshell and a half, one she didn't even need to drop. That pin pulled itself and no, she did not have the right to feel sorry for herself in this case. The brunette pushed her hair haphazardly away from her face and twisted her head to meet his stare. "I don't know what to say."_

" _I think you do," he breathed. "How about starting with_ why _you didn't think to tell me I have a child?"_

* * *

The shuffling down the hall tells her Henry's awake and she can hear him talk to himself animatedly, the undeniable edge of excitement evident even with walls between them. Regina pulls the bedroom door open and peeks down the corridor to her lovely son coming to greet her.

"Hey, mom!" He exclaims, throwing his arms around her middle as she returns the gesture. "I get to meet my dad again today!"

Regina inwardly sighs, giving the boy a small, but genuine smile. He's so excited… she just hopes to God that he won't come away disappointed.

* * *

" _Well?" Robin prompted after several moments of stone cold silence. "Don't you think I deserve to know the reasoning behind this?"_

" _Of course you do," she replied quickly. "I just don't know where to start." A deep breath, before: "what happened between us, we decided it was a one-time-only thing. We both agreed that as adults and…"_

" _Yes, Regina, but…"_

" _Let me finish!" She snapped back and he put his hands up in surrender_ _. "We agreed on it. I didn't want to get in the way of your life. I didn't think you'd reject him, of course, but I didn't want to take that chance."_

" _Regina," he sighed her name, not without contention, rubbing his hand over his face. "On what planet did you think this would be a good thing to do?"_

 _Despite feeling like she couldn't really explain, she truly thought she was acting in everyone's best interests._

" _Not that you have the best track record for staying in touch." Regina's head shot up, ready to rebuff his claim. "After Daniel's funeral? I gave you my number, but you never called."_

" _We've been through this," Regina sighed as she raked her hand through her hair. "I told you, I needed time. You're hardly one to talk, though." It was Robin's turn to glare. "After university finished, you disappeared and yeah, I know you said you stayed away because of Daniel and family problems, but really, it would have been nice to know you were alive at least."_

 _They're both as guilty as one another in terms of communication, he realised. "But," Robin starts, "This is a little bigger than that. It isn't just us affected, is it?"_

* * *

The closer it gets to twelve - they'd agreed for Robin to come over at lunch to let the meeting happen in private - the more restless Henry gets and the more unwell Regina feels. It's a physical reaction, of course - she doesn't feel she has the right to feel nauseous at all when this is down to her. She's prepared Henry's favourite pasta dish (his idea and something for them to talk about, to break the ice - Regina knows full well Robin also loves her take on spaghetti carbonara) and a side salad, as well as putting a few beers in the fridge to chill for Dutch courage. ( _For whom?_ she thinks.) Henry chose to wear his favourite tee too, a graphic one with fifteen robots gracing the front, telling his mother ever so proudly, again, that robots are his _favourite_.

"Smells yummy, mom!" Henry calls back from the kitchen as Regina moves to stand in the doorway.

"Yeah?" It's the little things like that that reassure her. Her son has the uncanny ability to make her smile and she's never been as grateful for that as she is today.

"Can't wait to eat it! Can we have apple pie too?" Normally it's a treat they save for after dinner, but Regina has some leftovers, enough for three, so she acquiesces her son's request and gets the ice cream out to thaw too.

* * *

 _Some minutes later, amidst a continuing silence that was never an issue between the two before, Robin stood. Regina's head rose, her eyes following the line of his body to meet his eyes._

" _I… can't forgive you for this," he said, sighing, defeated._

" _I don't expect you to," she replied._

" _Roland and I are gonna call it a night," he said, picking up his jacket and she nodded. "But… but I want to meet my son."_

" _Henry."_

" _Henry. I want to meet Henry."_

 _Regina stood and looked out into the garden, where Henry and Roland were chattering animatedly. Now really was not the time and she opened her mouth to say so, but Robin put his hand up._

" _Not now," he said, his tone softer than she expected. "If it's a shock for me, think of how big it'll be for Henry. No, definitely not today, but soon." He sighed, his hand running over his face. "It'll give you time to introduce me to him, get him used to the idea." A beat. "And Roland too."_

 _Of course. Roland and Henry would be half-brothers. Emma may have stated that it affects Roland too, but it's not until that very second that the penny drops that they would be_ brothers _. She nodded, agreeing. "In all fairness, Henry has been wondering about his father of late," she admits. "I didn't quite know what to tell him, so I told him I didn't know where you were." It's not a complete lie, but she had never tried to contact him._

 _Robin pondered this fact, feeling sympathy for the boy. "It wouldn't be an issue had you just told me, Regina."_

* * *

Other than professional conversations and the phonecall to arrange the meet, Robin and Regina had avoided one another. Regina had gathered that Robin may want his space and Robin himself wanted just that. It had remained civil between them, if not a little cold, especially at work, but she hoped that, as their son got to know him, they might salvage some of the friendship they once had. Unlikely, but one can hope.

Henry is almost glued to the front window of the house, his eyes darting back and forth at every vehicle that comes along their quiet street. "He's got a green car," Henry informs his mom. "It's a dark green, it's like a forest!"

* * *

 _When it came to telling Henry that, actually, he met his father just recently, Regina gathered that telling him sooner rather than later would be better. So, a few days after, the following Wednesday after school, she took her son for ice cream at Granny's and started to position the facts._

" _Sweetheart, I've got to talk to you about something."_

 _That was never the best way to start a sentence, especially when your son stares right at you, mouth full of mint chocolate chip ice cream, wondering what on earth it is you're reprimanding him for._

" _Wha..?" He said, mumbling, but this time, Regina didn't have it in her to correct him._

 _She took a deep breath. She'd thought long and hard about how she was going to tell him, ease the shock… but there was no way, not really._

" _Remember that school project you did not so long ago?" She tried._

" _The hot air balloon and the egg challenge?" He asked and Regina shook her head._

" _Not the science one, the history one, where you had to put together your family tree."_

 _His eyes widened, ice cream swallowed and spoon on the dish. "Oh… yeah."_

 _He never mentioned how that project went, she realised, when he's usually so good at sharing all his achievements with her. Perhaps she subconsciously thought he'd not got a great mark and so decided not to press… but… "What is it, sweetheart?"_

 _He fidgeted a little. "Just Peter was mean to me because I didn't have a dad."_

 _Regina's heart broke at that point; broke, squeezed, shattered. It's because of her that her son felt that way. She hadn't time for self-pity, pushing that aside for later, her eyes meeting her son's. "I'm sorry, Henry."_

 _He shrugged. "You're my mom_ and _my dad. I just told Peter he didn't know what he was talking about and Miss Midas gave him detention."_

 _The fact that Henry had to suffer at the hands of his peers bothered Regina more than she could express. Made her want to wring the other child's neck, but that's generally frowned upon._

" _What if I… what if I told you that you could meet your dad?"_

 _Henry dropped his spoon at that, staring at Regina with the widest eyes she's ever seen. "My dad? You found him?"_

" _Yes, I guess I have."_

" _How? When? Mom!" The boy is beyond excited; he's practically bouncing off his seat. "You found him!"_

 _Regina pushed her hair behind her ears to buy herself just a second of thinking time. "Well, it's like hide and seek, remember?" He nodded enthusiastically; it's one of his favourite games, and this was how she had positioned this whole situation to Henry. "Well, you know how your dad was hiding and it was up to me to find him? I found him when we were at Uncle David's."_

 _Although his first thought was that his mom had won the game, Henry's brows furrowed, his smile dropping as he spoke. "He was? Why did he not say hi to me? Did he not like me? Did I do something wrong?"_

 _The forlorn look on his face made her feel even worse. "Oh, no, no, of course you didn't." Regina took a deep breath. "I didn't tell him. I know I said I was looking for him, but I… I didn't look," and Regina is about to become a grade A hypocrite. "I lied about that." Henry's face fell by the second. "He didn't know about you-"_

" _You lied to me!" Henry exclaimed, interrupting her and she couldn't blame him. He stood, upset evident on his face. "You promised you would look for him."_

" _Henry, I thought it would be for the best." It really was the worst idea she had ever had - both telling her son in a public place and keeping the secret altogether._

" _You lied to me!" he repeated, his breathing turning shallow as he started to panic and Regina was at his side in seconds, rubbing his back, urging him to take deep breaths and to count to ten. He did so, but the tears continued to stream down his face. "You always said that lies are bad and that I should never lie because it just makes everyone sad!" he wailed, fighting to speak through his shaky voice. "I want my Dad."_

 _That hurt, but really, what could Regina expect? Fighting tears, she wavered as she replied, again, that she's sorry. Henry shook his head and fought his way away from her, sniffling, running towards the door and out of the diner, despite his mother's pleas. She got up to follow, but Granny is at the door with her hand up to stop her. She followed and for that, she was grateful as there was no way Henry would talk to her._

 _She sunk back into the booth, thankful for the near-empty diner and covered her face with her hands, tears flowing freely into her palms, down her cheeks, coating her lips and she needs to talk. With shaky hands, she brought up Emma's contact and lifted the phone to her ear._

" _Hey Queenie, you alright?" Emma answers in her cheery voice, yet Regina couldn't answer, her breath hitching and she could almost see her friend's face drop into a frown in her mind's eye. "Regina, what's wrong?"_

" _He knows."_

" _Whoa, wait. I know what you're talking about, but who exactly knows what?"_

" _Robin knows about Henry - he guessed at the Nolans get-together." That didn't surprise Emma in the slightest. "Henry knows about Robin."_

 _What on earth had happened in the short time since they last spoke? "Henry knows… oh, Regina…" she went to say she's sorry, but truly, she isn't. It's about time. "... what happened?" Doesn't take a genius to work out that it hadn't gone smoothly._

" _He's upset that… that I lied to him about trying to find Robin," she sighed and that's something Emma was not expecting, especially with Regina's stance on fibs. "I've only just reconnected with Robin. I've not seen him for years, I've not contacted him despite promising my son that I would if I could. I've not even tried, Emma. How do I explain that to a six-year-old?_

 _Emma hadn't an answer to that. "I don't think explaining is gonna help, especially if you weren't honest with him," the blonde replied and Regina winced. "I think you need to listen to what Henry has to say, how he feels. Perhaps that's what he needs right now - to feel that you understand why he's upset."_

 _It's probably the best advice she'd been given in her entire life and, where she'd been too stubborn to accept people's best advice before (and look at the outcome of that), she's determined to take this. "Thank you, Emma. I… I wish you were here." She could hear Emma's gentle laugh over the line._

" _I'll come see you next weekend. Take you and my lovely godson to lunch… perhaps a liquid lunch for us?"_

 _That made Regina smirk. "Sounds perfect to me. I think a couple of bottles of rose once Henry's gone to bed is just what the doctor ordered."_

* * *

 _Granny had texted Regina to tell her Henry's whereabouts, but she didn't need to read it to know exactly where they were. The castle playground is Henry's favourite place to be, come rain or shine, happy or sad and, sure enough, the boy was sitting on the ledge, Granny standing on the ground beneath him. When she saw Regina approaching, she nodded, approaching her with a low 'just be gentle' and a squeeze to her arm as they passed._

" _Henry, sweetheart," Regina called quietly and he barely met her eyes for a second before looking away again. Her hand on his knee, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."_

 _He still refused to look at her so she did the only thing she knew how to do in these situations; she climbed the structure (difficult in heels) and sat beside him, reaching for his hand and taking great comfort when he didn't pull away._

" _Talk to me, darling. Tell me what you're thinking, how you're feeling. I promise to listen."_

" _You promised you'd find my dad," Henry says, chewing his lip as he turned to look at her, frustration clear on his face. "How can he know if he likes me? What if he doesn't like me?" He looked down again and Regina didn't respond, though she knew that Robin would love him. "You and Granny say I'm smart and cool and super good at soccer…" He fidgeted with a stray thread on his sweater. "I wanted you to win at hide and seek because I think my dad would be good at soccer too. We could talk about the game and play kick about and he can take me to matches and…" he looked at Regina sheepishly. "I know you try to like it, but I know you don't really."_

 _Regina chuckled, putting her arm around his shoulders. "You got me there, honey."_

" _You tried, even if you kicked your sneaker off trying to score." Regina remembered all too well running through the mud to retrieve her rogue shoe, Henry all but rolling around on the grass howling with laughter. "I'm sorry, mommy."_

 _She looked at him, puzzled. "What for?"_

" _When I said I want my dad," he replied and she's still confused. "I want my mom too."_

 _Regina turned her head and pressed a kiss to his hairline, closing her eyes as their foreheads rest together. "I will always be here for you, Henry. I'll always be your mom. I love you. And I'm so sorry for what I said, for lying. I won't lie to you again."_

" _I love you too," he whispered, nodding, his arms coming around her middle. They remained that way for a while before Regina pulled back to look at her son, taking a chance, hoping to begin their healing process._

" _Do you want to see your dad?"_

 _Henry's eyes lit up, the way they do when he finds a rare comic at the store or does a doodle he's particularly proud of. "Yeah!"_

 _She sucked in a breath and dug her hand into her coat pocket, pulling her phone out. She found the photo eventually, attached to an email Emma had sent her and she stared at it momentarily before turning the screen to her son._

" _So, this is me and my friends at college." Henry found her straightaway, pointing, commenting on her long, curly hair, before locating Emma and August._

" _That's the man from the barbeque!" He exclaimed. "He was really cool when I told him about my robots!"_

Just say it _, she thought. "That's your dad."_

 _Henry stared at the photo, back at his mom, then back at the photo. He was silent for a moment before he whispered, "I have my dad's blue eyes."_

" _You do," she nodded. "And his artistic talent."_

 _Henry laughed. "You can't even draw an apple!" Regina joined in, resting her head on her son's._

" _And the good news, sweetheart? He wants to meet you. If you want to."_

 _Henry nodded excitedly. "I want to meet him again!"_

* * *

It was all Henry had been able to talk about that evening; about what they could do together, what he was going to wear, what comics to share and what drawings he was going to show his dad and although Regina welcomed it, she felt a pang of sadness - maybe her baby wouldn't need her as much. It only takes a second for her to shake the selfish thought away, but it still leaves an echo of pain.

When Regina had told Robin that Henry was willing to meet the following day, she could hear the anticipation in his voice, even if he was still disappointed in her for the whole ordeal.

The food is ready, the child is beside himself and Regina is nervous. They just need Robin to complete the equation and, dead on twelve, the doorbell goes, followed closely by Henry's footsteps and his bright _he's here_!

Regina reaches for the latch and opens the door to reveal Robin on the other side, a bottle of apple cider in one hand, wine in the other.

"Hello, Henry. Hello, Regina."


End file.
